June 6

Before we get to the funny stuff, here’s the sad stuff: One of the Sisters has had very little sugar over the past eighteen days.   A bet of $500.00 was made with a teen daughter regarding thirty days of sugarfreeness, don’t ask.  It’s not pretty.  Okay, Ava’s the sister and Amylynn won’t stop harassing her about how dumb she was to be goaded into such a position by a small girl.  Point taken, Amylynn, now be quiet!  Here’s the fun stuff.

1. National Doughnut Day.  This makes #1 for the week because of course it does.  The Sisters love donuts.  LOVE.  No need to talk about Ava only having a small bite of a Cronut.  You might think Amylynn would not have been involved with the office buying said Cronuts, to help sugar-free Ava out, but you’d be wrong.  Wrong. You also might think it was easy to obtain these donuts, but again, you’d be mistaken. There’s a donut shop on every freaking corner. At the first place there was actually a sign on the door – “Sorry, we’re out of donuts”. At the next place we had to park a block and a half away and there were 47 people in line in front of us for the last three donuts

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in the case. Don’t you think donut places would be better prepared for National Donut Day? Seriously. If not them, then who? We finally had to settle for grocery store donuts. Whatever, a donut is a donut.

2. It’s a Long Drive from AZ to MI.  This isn’t funny but it really is. That kind of happens in the real world, doesn’t it? Seems a 62 year old man was driving with his 31 year old girlfriend and his 92 year old mother from Phoenix to Detroit.  On the trip, the girlfriend died–we know, not funny but hang in there with us for a minute. The driver refused to pull over.  Yup, he drove straight through with her in the front passenger seat

O. M. G! Gross!!!!

and wearing sunglasses.  WTF?  What could the man’s possible excuse have been for such ridiculous behavior?  We bet his mom bitched and moaned the entire way home because she wanted to trade places and sit in the front seat.

3. Man Steals Human Skins.  A man has been charged with stealing over 200 skin grafts while on his job as a medical sales representative.  The grafts were unauthorized and worth over $350K.  The Sisters debated this out for hours.  What was he doing with the skin?  Why did he need so much skin?  We finally came to the conclusion that he’s building a human?  Perhaps he needs a friend?  We hope he’s not hired on at an organ transplant company.  Guard your throats people, guard your throats.

4. Apparently she’s full of s**t. The Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo, has been called out as a fraud by investigator, Ron Tebo. Apparently, she can’t talk to ghosts. The Sisters are so disappointed we might need to eat another donut to get through this. We seriously want to believe in ghosts. We really, really do. Actually, the list of stuff we’d like to believe in is outrageously long – ghosts, aliens, Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, a diet that works, and that Elvis is really alive. This is just another nail in the coffin of our rich and vivid fantasy life. If Caputo is a fraud, then the prediction that we’d get a panda bear this year is also probably bullshit too. Damn it. Pass the donuts.

5. Don’t be a punk. There is this fabulous ad campaign in Baltimore bringing attention to animal cruelty. All kinds of sports figures, musicians, and tough guys galore are doing shoots with their pets. The tag line, Only a Punk Would Hurt a Cat or Dog is great and these photos are so charming. Here’s one of our favorites with John Rallo and one of his four cats, Doobie. We love this not only because it’s a cool idea, but there are cute puppies and kitties to squeal at.