June 27

I’m sending you the 5 Things this week from Florida. After a week here, we have moss growing in places we didn’t expect. We’ve been paying our homage to the Mouse and to all things Hollywood at Universal. The people watching has been outstanding, let me tell you. Sometimes I’m deeply concerned about the state of our citizenry. Back at the home front, apparently Jojo Kitty terrorized his Aunt. When she came over to feed my fuzzy children, she thought there was a dead snake in his water bowl. Apparently, I forgot to warn her that he is a bit on the sadistic side and I failed to mention that he likes to drown his toys. There was a purple pipe cleaner floating in the water and she was duly terrorized. I’d feel really bad if it wasn’t so funny. Here are some of the best things I encountered while on vacation.

1. My children are wimps. And much like Ava’s children, find me very embarrassing. Or scary. I’m not sure exactly. What it all boils down to is that they wouldn’t allow me to terrorize them on the Haunted House ride. They wouldn’t even sit with me in the little carriage. This may have had something to do with the fact that I kept practicing my evil laugh while in line. BwaHahahahahaha. I’m pretty good at it by now. At least the other people by us in line thought so. Some people just don’t appreciate my talents.

2. Harry Potter. I can’t tell you how much I got my geek on while in the Harry Potter land at Universal. I was sorely disappointed that they only had the Hogsmeade side open and not the Diagon Alley portion. Still, the castle at Hogwarts was astounding and the ride really awesome. I got to go into Olivanders Wand Shop and I touched all the wands. I got Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans and some Chocolate Frogs. I haven’t even opened them up yet to see which wizarding cards I got. Seriously, I’m so in love.

3. Arya retweeted me! I sent the following tweet when leaving the Magic Kingdom today: After 14 hours at Disney World I wish I had Hodor to carry me out of this park. #disneyworld #gameofthrones. Arya Stark of GOT_Arya retweeted it. I realize that it wasn’t the actual Arya – she’s a fictional character, duh. I also know that it wasn’t even the actress. She’s very young and probably should have been in bed already. I understand that in all reality it was some schmo or even just an engine that retweets everything with their hashtag attached, but I don’t care. ARYA RETWEETED ME! I’m famous. (OK – I just looked back and Arya only favorited my tweet. That’s a bit of a let down, don’t you think?)

4. Air conditioning. When I was a kid and we used to go to Mexico for vacation–this was before the drug mobs used to cut off people’s heads and kidnap tourists–we were always amused because shops and restaurants would advertise themselves as having “Ice cold air conditioning” as a lure to get you inside. That could totally work down here in Florida, too. It’s so miserable; I can’t breath. Or maybe I can’t breath because I was not born with gills, which I have determined are essential in dealing with the humidity down here. The whole time I’ve been looking for Mickey Mouse when I probably should have been looking for Aquaman.

5. Not being at work. There you go. enough said.