You’d think being 50 would isolate you from “lost” Saturday nites

With the Ava Bright children being out of town, Ava and Ed decided to go out on Saturday night.  The whole evening started with wanting to go downtown for dinner, have a few drinks, and go play pinball.  This idea was derailed when Ed’s friend texted to see if we wanted to meet up at a restaurant miles from downtown because the friend’s date had a Groupon.  Those of you who know Ed, know that he likes nothing better than saving money – so he agreed.  Ava agreed to agree because she was trying not to be a pain in the *ss.

The restaurant turned out to be a brew pub in a strip mall.  The menu featured bar food.  While Ava doesn’t mind bar food, she does mind the one item on the menu she really, really wanted to be unavailable.  The item was handmade pretzels with beer cheese sauce.  Now you understand her ire.  Note to brew pub: Make sure you have ALL of the food on your menu on SATURDAY night or just go ahead and close down.

Salted Caramel Shake with Bourbon and Bacon

Let me mention that Ed’s friend is an engineer with a PhD.  His date’s degree is in Chinese culture and she has a PhD, as well.  (More on China tomorrow. Make sure you come back here.)  After driving downtown, where you’ll recall we wanted to go in the first place, next on the evening’s agenda was to walk in the 100 degree heat to a restaurant to get take-out bacon because – and I quote “They have the best bacon.” From there, we headed to another restaurant (still 100 degrees out) because they make there own salted caramel ice cream and have super special bourbon.  Super special bourbon is $14.00 a shot.  We then took over half the bar and mixed the bourbon, ice cream, and bacon into shakes.  I swear to god this is true.

After “dessert”, the boy PhD decided we needed to walk in the STILL 100 degree heat to a bar because it’s the oldest bar in our city.  I thought Ed was going to cry but he straightened his spine and agreed to agree because he didn’t want to an old man.  The first thing you notice is the people in the oldest bar in our city are the oldest people in the city as well.  The place was a pit but we drank a pitcher of Coor’s original and played shuffle board.  Ed kept knocking my pucks off the playing field until I loudly announced “Are you trying to shuffle your way out of having sex with me tonight?”  After that I started to win.

Buffet Bar Shuffle Board

The whole evening wound up when Ed said he was going home and if the PhD’s wanted a ride instead of walking all the way back to their apartment in the 100 degree heat they’d better come along.

The shuffle board joke was only for a laugh but the joke ended up on me.  Fifty year old Ed passed out from heat exhaustion as soon as we got home.