November 7

There was fall here this week. It stopped by for two days and then left. We’re back to 80 degrees. Seriously, you’re all just jealous that we’re still wearing sandals. The reason that’s good is that it makes for more opportunities for Amylynn to wear two different shoes. Yep. That happened again. Amylynn would like you all to believe that she does that for fun, to keep Ava and TWGR amused. Totally not true. Amylynn clearly cannot get dressed by herself. Sometimes it’s complicated. Mornings are bad. The real problem is that Amylynn only got 4 hours of sleep and, honestly, you all should be happy she remembered pants. Here’s more funny stuff.

1. Don Draper. We’re very slow coming to the Mad Men party, but we’re happy the invitations finally arrived. We LOVE the clothes and we think we really should start drinking at work. Speaking of the clothes. We need those clothes. Really need. Also, we couldn’t be happier that someone finally did something with Peggy’s hair, because it was awful. So awful, we wanted to snatch it off her head. We’d also like a bit of that tall drink of water Don Draper. We’ve only just finished season 2, and we’ve heard that Don goes off the rails, but we don’t care. He’s hot. In the beginning, Ava didn’t think he was anything special. She has since decided that she didn’t know what she was talking about. It’s not really up for debate. He is gorgeous. (Ava here – he’s no Jared Leto but he’s alright.)

2. Hair. Amylynn is even more soulless than usual. In a crazy moment–a moment that actually took 2 months to decide on–she cut off her hair and made it an even darker red. We’re pretty happy about it. TWGR says it looks like Black Widow’s hair. Any comparison to Scarlet Johanson can’t be bad. Also, if that can work as an “in” to get a job as an assassin, that would be super.

3. Tragic expectations. We had to go shopping at lunch today. It was a sacrifice, but we did it. That’s how we are. Ava went off to find jeans. TWGR and Amylynn didn’t want to watch her cry in the dressing room so we wandered off to the housewares department. We may or may not have been perfectly innocent when two giant bottles of gourmet olive oil crashed to the ground. We toddled off to find someone to clean it up then we returned to the scene of the crime to continue shopping. This is what we heard from the back room. “I’m twenty-five years old, in a dead-end-job, my life’s going nowhere, I’m going bald, and now I have to clean up olive oil.” When the guy came out we gave him a big hug and told him that sadly life wasn’t going to get any better. Also, to think of Jason Statham for inspiration on that bald thing.

4. Oh, those Russians. They took down a statue of an iPhone in the college campus in St. Petersburg because the CEO of Apple has announced that he is gay. WHAT? Obviously, that is ridiculous. Does that mean they’re not selling Apple anymore? Amylynn needs a new iPhone ever since she dropped hers in the CLEAN toilet. Actually that was two years ago and the thing still works great. Nevertheless, we’d be happy to take one of those wretched gay Russian iPhones off their hands. In fact, we’ll take any electronics anyone wants to send us–even if it has a touch of Ebola, we’ll just Lysol that right away.

5. Free boxes. We’re beginning the onerous job of packing up the office. We’ve got excellent gossip that we’re out of here in the next two weeks. We have a lot of stuff here. A lot. There are approximately 182 nail polishes, three curling irons, a hair dryer, a television and blue ray player, scads of movies and televisions shows, an elliptical exercise machine (unused), 67 jigsaw puzzles, a waffle iron, blender, electric skillet, 238 books and Zeus only knows what else. Thank God for office supply deliveries. We need all the boxes we can get.