What The World Is Coming To…

I think the world has jiggled on it’s axis…

I recently bought my little daughter a new Barbie.  If you have shopped for a Barbie lately, you are probably aware of these mortifying changes.  And honestly, she already has 23 Barbies – but all of the princess persuasion.  Only a couple are random, just in a dress Barbies.  Which brings me to this one.  

She saw it from her 5 year old level at the Mega Fry’s we frequent; it was on the top shelf – the one that warns to ‘ask for help for items from this shelf’ – and with the perpetual hurry of my nature, I grabbed it, then went to the TP aisle, then the wine aisle THEN the produce section.  The whole way home she asked if I would open it. 

But there are 367 rubber bands and twist ties holding the lass in the box, so the lass had to wait until I got her home to use the heavy duty scissors to release her from her jiggle-free existence (yes, that IS the second time I’ve used the word jiggle in this post).  It was the very moment of her freedom from said box that I noticed…

Her ‘gown’ was painted on her torso.  PAINTED.  With glitter and purple dust.  Then there was a skirt that flared from her hips.  My thumb immediately smeared of a spot of the fake bodice.  And my daughter immediately said “OH!  Her breasts aren’t in her gown!” 

“No.  No they aren’t.  And good job calling them ‘breasts’ pumpkin!”  I said cheerily.

No wonder Ken left the picture.  Would you want your girlfriend to wear painted-on clothing?  Nevermind…don’t answer that.

In public?  On the shelf of every store in the world?  Forget the Barbie dream house.  Forget the Barbie Corvette.  I am on team Ken.  Team Barbie can go to some nudie beach and paint their clothes on. 

I can’t wait until the Barbies have pierced nipples and tattoos.