I have too much going on. I don’t have enough words left for a post today. Hang tight I’ll have a good one for you tomorrow with laughs, a snort or two and general amusement.

Until then…

. . . has no one posted a comment about that giant dog????  Did you people see him?  He’s GIANT.  His name is George.  Comment about the gloriousness that is George before we send him to your house.  In fact, I’m not going to wait – I’m going to find him now . . .

I had a very funny blog all written, spell checked and ready to go. My Honey refuses to allow me to post it and now I’m not speaking to him.

He suggested that perhaps I just don’t post anything tonight but that won’t do.

Instead I’ll give you a few bits of trivia. Just know that this will in no way be as amusing as the one I have been forbidden to post.

Did you guys know that Shel Silverstein wrote Johnny Cash’s hit A Boy Named Sue? Me neither but it doesn’t surprise me either. I love Shel Silverstein. When I was a kid I was scandalized when I learned the man who wrote Where the Sidewalk

Ramses passport photo?

Ends also wrote for PLayboy.

When the mummy of Ramses II was sent to France in the mid-1970’s, it was issued a passport. Ramses’ occupation was listed as King (deceased). I wonder what picture they used? Did the mummy wake up to sign it or did they use a fingerprint?

Obsessive nose picking is called Rhinotillexomania. Just in case you need a note from your doctor for something. Too bad you can’t just fake a quick note from your doctor to get out of work like you used to be able to get out of gym.

The German word kummerspeck means excess weight gained from emotional overeating. Literally, grief bacon. I like bacon but it’s not my kryptonite. I have kummerkuchen – grief cake.

The female opossum has 13 nipples. Now you’re picturing it aren’t you. How can you not. It’s so weird. I swear I didn’t make this up. Google it. You’ll see.

About one in every 4 million lobsters is born with a rare genetic defect that turns it blue. A blue lobster is no less scary looking, in my opinion, than the red ones but I suspect it’s still yummy.

So there you go. Six things to contemplate today. Weird and odd, but not necessarily funny. You can totally blame My Honey.

Rather ominously, today is Friday the 13th. We feel like there should be a soundtrack for days like this. You keep your eyes open, expecting something awful, and nothing ever really comes of it. Kind of a let down, huh? It’s not like you want bad luck but sometimes a little something would break up the monotony, you know? Anyway, these things are good, or funny – well at least not awful.

1. Giant George. Ava just realized that Giant George lives here. Amylynn was not aware that Ava didn’t know this vital bit of info when she showed her the book about the dog while they were at the Church and praying at the new release section. For those of you unfamiliar, Giant George is an absolutely enormous Great Dane. In fact, he’s so gigantically big that he’s the world tallest dog according to Guinness. Amylynn is no stranger to ridiculously gargantuan puppies and even she thinks G. G. is a bit excessive. Ava has made it her new mission to track down G.G. and make him her friend. Kelli isn’t taking Ava’s calls cause she’s smart enough to know where this is going. Amylynn isn’t looking forward to a visit to jail for trespassing, but it is Friday 13th so…

2. Book covers. One of our favorite things to do at the Barnes & Noble we call the church, besides pestering the staff, annoying the baristas in the Starbucks, eating the cupcakes, and cackling madly much to the dislike of the other patrons, is going on Tuesday to see what the newly released book covers look like. Lately, we’ve all been paying special attention to the YA (young adult for the uninitiated) section because honestly, some of those book covers are gorgeous. We’ve decided that we’d like silver foil on our cover. We guess we should finish a project and sell it, huh?

3. Almond Flavored Food. Yum! That’s what we say. Especially when you put it in a pastry with cinnamon and chocolate. The Quill Sisters love all things almond. Almond M&Ms come immediatly to mind. Almond cookies. Almond flavored coffee. Swiss Almond Vanilla ice cream from Haagen Daz. Great. Now we’re hungry.

4. Petty theft. We were looking out our office windows while serving time at Bank of No Forks the other day and witnessed an amusing theft. First let us explain the landscaping at BofNF. The landlords of our office building firmly believe in gardening. You’ve never seen such manicured lawns in your life. The flowers are beautiful and artfully placed about the grounds and are promptly replaced the minute they look even slightly wilty. Ava swears that she actually witnessed a man standing on a ladder dusting a tree, leaf by leaf. I don’t doubt her. That seems like something they’d commission. Anyway, we were looking out the windows and watched a man mosey down the sidewalk, seemingly minding his own business. Suddenly he stooped down, yanked out a bunch of gardenias and such, then sprint down the street with his purloined posies, dirt falling off the roots in clumps. We all looked to each other and said in unison, “Did that guy just steal our flowers?” It was almost as funny as when the bums used to bathe in the fountain at Amylynn’s old building.

5. Tyler. Ava and Amylynn went to Culver’s today for a burger. We really needed a dead cow for lunch and Culver’s has ice cream. Win-Win. While there we were highly amused by one of the employees there. We were sitting in a huge booth, minding our own business – which is, in itself a major accomplishment – and along came Tyler. He was about 6’2″ and weighed in at about 125 pounds. A total bean pole. He had a dirty white towel draped across his arm in the manner of a maitre ‘d and carried a squirt bottle as if it was a bottle of D0m Perignon. He approached our table, clasped his hands in front of him like a very patient kindergarten teacher and asked if there was anything that he could do to make our stay more enjoyable. Amylynn said, “Huh?” around a mouthful of french fries. Ava thinks the kid is in on the joke and acts like a dork because it amuses him. Amylynn only got creepy vibes from the guy and is 100% certain they’ll discover bodies in his back yard.