June 28

Wow! Is it ever hot here. Supposed to be 113 here today. What the hell? We thought that was bad until we saw on the news that another city in our state is calling for 129. What the F…! What’s the boiling point of skin? That sounds gruesome, we know, but when you climb into your car and plop your shorts-wearing butt on a leather car seat in a 200 degree car, you’re pretty certain your skin is boiling. At the very least melting. And we don’t recommend hairspray because that’s just gonna catch fire. We recommend you get a good book and a nice a/c vent and don’t move unless it’s time to refill your margarita. Here are a couple of things we giggled about this week.

1. Missing animals. You would not believe how many people contacted us to find out how we’d done it as soon as the news came out that there was a missing red panda from the National Zoo. It’s funny how we were the first many people even considered as the culprits. The little dude has been recovered which means that black Chevy Caprice that’s been sitting outside our office all week can go home and Officer Whatshisface with the Foster Grants will quit following us around Target. Do you want the irrefutable proof that we didn’t do it? Because the person who found the animal – IN THEIR YARD – contacted the National Zoo to pick it up. We guaran-freaking-tee that if that precious baby was in our yard, NO ONE would have been notified. We’d

a gift from royalty

now be the proud possessors of a “funny red dog”.

2. Peridots. Amylynn has never been a fan of her birthstone. Let’s be real – this birthstone looks weak compared to diamonds, emeralds and rubies. It’s like they figured they gave August the best flower (gladiolus) and zodiac sign (Leo) so they’d gyp them on the gem stone. It’s really, really rare to find peridots in an attractive setting. To Amylynn, they always look cheap – like you bought it at Woolworth’s or something. Except this set. This is gorgeous.  In 1816 the necklace, pendant, bracelets, earrings and broach was given by Princess Elizabeth to a lady who’d been charged with essentially babysitting Princess Charlotte so she wouldn’t run off and marry an unacceptable twit. Amylynn’s birthday is a shockingly brief time away. In case you’re still wondering what she’d like.

3. More animals wandering around. Amylynn’s uncle, NewMexiKen who lives in New Mexico had a visitor in his back yard the other day. He wisely chose NOT to do what we would have done and he left the bear alone except for a couple of advantageous Kodak moments. Although, now that we really look at this picture we probably wouldn’t have approached this bear. Especially since NewMexiKen mentioned that she was probably looking for her cub who’d been spotted earlier in the week and was collected by the authorities. Mama bears are not to be trifled with. We’d also like it pointed out that we didn’t have anything to do with the disappearance of her baby.

4. Yet more wild animals. There does seem to be a bit of a theme this week doesn’t there? This is the only wild jaguar wandering around the United States and he’s sorta in our back yard. This is the first real picture we’ve seen of him – isn’t he handsome? The Fish and Wildlife people have cameras set up around the mountains hoping to catch him in action and up to now, we keep seeing pictures of just his tail. It’s a gorgeous tail we might add.  If you follow the jump you’ll see another picture of his face, but we love the colors in this one. Sadly, since he’s the only one, he’s not part of a breeding pair so – at least for now – baby jaguars are safe from our attentions. We’ll let you know right away if that changes.

5. HAWWWWWWWKS! After six phenomenal, nail biting games the Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup. Game six was crazy. With little over a minute left in the third period and behind by one goal, the Hawks pulled the goalie so they could have an extra attacker. Bryan Bickell score and seventeen seconds later Dave Bolland scored again. It was stunning. Thank you Boston and Chicago for such an exciting series after such a crappy short season. Patrick Sharp – please go shave your gorgeous self. When does training camp start back up again?