1. Chicken & Waffles. If you’ve not experienced the weird wonderfulness of chicken and waffles together we suggest you high tail it to a restaurant that specializes in that particular delicacy. Amylynn firmly believes that food on your plate SHOULD NOT TOUCH and even she is on the chicken and waffle band wagon. When the Sisters met for lunch there this week we discovered they will now add extra yummies to your waffle – such things as bacon bits, fresh blueberries or **get this** Reese’s Pieces! YUM!
2. Corporate Speak. In our various occupations we are doomed to hear a ton of corporate speak during conference calls and such. Our feelings about our day jobs have been well documented on this site, so I don’t think I need to dwell on that. The one thing that gives us any measure of relief is laughing hysterically at the the absurd corporate double- talk spouted during said conference calls. Some examples you ask? How about: transitional summer, hub & spoke, low-hanging fruit, backwards waterfall, customer relationship model, and ambassador of our brand were all said during this week alone. Don’t ask us what any of them mean. No one knows. We aren’t meant to know. Theirs not to reason why. Theirs but to do and die. Our jobs are hardly worthy of great poetry, but maybe while we’re sitting around we can come up with a haiku using corporate speak.
3. Groupon Descriptions. You know we wrote a letter to Groupon’s head dude, Andrew Mason, with some questions we had based on a Vanity Fair article. The Sisters have long been fans of Groupon and their hysterical, tongue in cheek, snarky descriptions of their products. But what is really not to be missed are the daily “Groupon Says” essays at the bottom of the page. Excellent entertainment value. By the way, neither Mr. Mason or anyone else from Groupon has responded to our email. Frankly this disappoints us. A lot. We’ll keep you posted.
4. Which doctor? The Witch Doctor. One of the Sisters called to make a doctor’s appointment with a specialist. While on the phone with the receptionist who was taking down all her vital information necessary to determine if she was eligible for an appointment to see a real live doctor (things like: insurance card number, whether she was Republican or Democrat, who she picked in the Angelina/Jennifer debate) she inadvertently asked the bored Sister a question that started a whole Abbott & Costello type conversation. “Which doctor referred you?” “The witch doctor.” Things spiraled downward from that point on. The moral of this story is don’t start something with a bored Quill Sister you’re not prepared to finish.
5. Throat lozenges. There was an absolutely enormous bug in our office today. The biggest bug you’ve ever seen. Seriously. It was practically a bug with its own horror movie. It scared Ava so badly she climbed over the receptionist counter to avoid it. Amylynn was drawn by the screaming. Not Ava screaming so much as the security guard screaming. Just like a little girl. Amylynn got brave enough to put a plastic garbage can over it with the plan to move it towards the door. The bug growled and snarled at Amylynn and waved its antennae at her in a very threatening manner which, of course, brought on a whole new round of screaming and leaping about. The office underwriter ultimately killed it, screaming, “Denied!” Now that all the hysteria over here is concluded, let’s say a big round of thanks to the Ricola company. Riiiiiiiicoooooolaaaaaaa.