This is the week of Amylynn’s birth, but that is too obvious and the Sister’s are nothing if not cliché. If Amylynn had her way, numbers one through five would have something to do with her much celebrated birth, but Ava and Kelli do their utmost to rein her in.
#1 Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz as played by Campbell Scott. There is no way attraction can be explained. Perfume makers have been trying to pinpoint it for centuries, but it’s a futile task. Ava’s husband has asked on more than one occasion for an explanation for our fascination of Boris and it simply can’t be done. We don’t think it’s the actor, Campbell Scott. He’s serviceably handsome, but not someone we’d get overly excited about. However, the character he plays on Royal Pains is simply delicious. He’s a gazillionaire, European hottie who needs to be saved. What woman could want more? Last year, Amylynn tracked down his agent and sent a lovely letter requesting an autographed picture of Mr. Scott as Boris for a birthday present for Ava. We regret to say, the letter was ignored and Mr. Scott did not send the requested picture. We can only assume his agent was jealous of the Sisters and their cutting wit and feared Mr. Scott would be too enthralled with their beauty that his career would flounder, thus he never passed on the letter. Fortunately, we forgive them both, but if they want to score MASSIVE points, we can be contacted at email@example.com.
#2 Chapstick. Or Blistex or Carmex or any lip balm. There have long been rumors that Carmex is addictive. Sure it is if wanting soft kissable lips that would entice Boris to lay one on you is addictive. Whatever, we can’t live without it.
#3 San Diego or at least Memories of it. One Sister just came home from a week in lovely San Diego. Her return was under protest and I understand there was a temper tantrum and possible holding of breath at the state line, but we’re glad she’s home. Desert dwellers have long, detailed fantasies about San Diego with its balmy weather and golden, sandy beaches. Coronado Island generally takes a front and center position in these fantasies. Ahhhhhh. How can you not think longingly about Coronado when it’s 110 degrees here? Put your Chapstick in your purse and let’s go.
#4 Animals and the zookeepers who can’t control them. We’ve mentioned several times in the last weeks various adorable, fuzzy animals and problems in our zoo. There were the giraffes that were poisoned, and the lioness they weren’t even sure was pregnant who just gave birth to three cubs. In New York, the Central Park Zoo had a peacock escape this week. And famously the Bronx zoo had a cobra on the loose earlier this year. What the hell is going on here? Are the animals getting wilier or are the zoo keepers just not paying attention? Our zoo just announced there may be a giraffe impregnated by the male giraffe that was so tragically poisoned. Of course they won’t know for sure until there are legs emerging. How can they not know the lion was pregnant when a week later she had THREE cubs? Good lord! Ava suggested they use the tried and true pregnancy test of, “Is the giraffe bitchy?”
5. People laying across train tracks for medicinal purposes. This story kills us. In fact, there is more than one Sister who is certain some member of her family will be on a plane to Jakarta by the end of the week to give it a shot. Our favorite part of the article was the following quote,” ‘I’ll keep doing this until I’m completely cured,’ said Mulyati, twitching visibly as an oncoming passenger train sends an extra rush of current racing through her body.” If there is one thing the Sisters are completely sure of it’s that people everywhere are whack-a-loons and we wouldn’t have it any other way.