Let the resolutions begin
Amylynn and I have come up with a truly original new year’s resolution: We’re going to lose weight. We know that’s cutting edge – so we wanted to share it with you.
As I’ve confessed right here in the past, I have a diet problem. I’ll try almost any diet that comes along. Generally, Amylynn refuses to go along with this foolishness. I’ve only been able to talk her into a few of them.
HOWEVER, last week she said “We’re going on a diet in the new year.” That’s pretty much like telling me I won the lottery. A diet? With a friend? WooHoo, I’m freaking in!
So as not to scare her, I suggested we start off with a simple 1200 calorie-a-day diet. Nothing fancy, just a serviceable diet. All the while knowing I was going right on the internet to find a new fangled diet to try.
Drum role please . . . I found the diet to end all diets. Seriously. It involves ice cream, cheesecake and bread. Seriously. It’s called “The Carb Nite Solution”.
We’re starting tomorrow and will keep you posted as the weight drops off. I feel thinner already.
****Notes from Amylynn**** Honest to God, she has come up with the most ridiculous diets you’ve ever heard off. If she heard a testimonial from some whackadoo that eating freeze dried worms and orange juice would cause you to lose twenty pounds, she’d have me driving all over Hell and gone to find freeze dried worms. Only the smelliest health food store would have them and they’d be $75 an ounce, but she’d do it.
This time it was my idea. It’s a diet philosophy that makes sense and I’ve studied up on it and know the science works.
All I know is that I’d better get thin cause I’m sick of this.
I have book signings to go to this year and I need to be svelte.