June 7

We vowed that we’d stop complaining of the heat out of deference to the people on this planet who’ve been living with deadly weather like tornadoes and tsunamis and hurricanes. Unfortunately, it turns out that either we’re really awful people or total narcissists because every time we go outside the first thing out of our mouths is, “Wow, who turned on the dryer?” Somehow we do manage to make everything about us. It’s destiny. Sorry. We’re repentantly shallow — at least where heat is involved. To be fair, we don’t like wind or too much rain either, and we detest snow. We’re equal opportunity weather haters. Even while we melt, we do find things to laugh about though. And we do share.

1. Jeans. Since no one ever notices us here at Bank of No Forks, we’ve taken to wearing jeans everyday. That is a glorious thing. What is it about wearing jeans in an office that makes you feel like you’re getting away with something? Honestly, jeans are kinda hot and depending on how much cake you’ve had recently, tight. But still, we LOVE wearing our jeans. Especially when we’re not supposed to. We figure, if this is the reason we get fired after all this nonsense, then so be it. Levis for everyone! Power to the denim.

2. Souless. We’re very intrigued by steampunk. It’s so stylized and interesting. We’ve tossed around a couple ideas of our own for steampunk stories, but we’ve got so many other projects going on that we’ve restrained ourselves and not started another project. Don’t know what steampunk is? Dear lord, where have you been? It’s everywhere. You know all those interesting people you see wearing copper stuff and sporting goggles? They’re dressing the part. Anyway, we LOVE this cover. The story is delightful, too. If you’re interested in tipping your toe in, give this one a try.

3. Pretzels. You know how when you’re craving something it keeps showing up everywhere? For us this week it was pretzels. Funny how that seems to happen to us at the same time. Or perhaps we’re both highly suggestible. Either way, we wanted pretzels. On Monday, Ava suggested we head over to Philadelphia on our lunch hour for a nice street vendor pretzel. Amylynn was game, even though that would have put us over our hour by quite a bit. On Tuesday, Amylynn wrote soft pretzels into her current work in progress. On Thursday it came to fruition. Glorious pipping hot ubber salted pretzels with mustard and cheese sauce. All is right with the world again. Until the next craving…

4. Food craziness. Dunkin’ Donuts has introduced the Glazed Doughnut Breakfast Sandwich. It’s eggs and bacon sandwiched between two glazed doughnuts. Swear to Zeus. Now you all know we’ve been seriously dieting. For the most part that’s been going pretty well – for some of us. We really don’t have any intention of eating this concoction. First of all, Amylynn doesn’t allow her food to touch so this is unspeakable heresy (Ava would eat this). Still we do love ourselves a good glazed doughnut. And you have to hand it to the Dunkin’ people for basically showing the health food demographic the finger.

5. Thinning the herd. There is a woman in Seattle who’s decided that she can live off of water, air and light. She’s not eaten anything for 32 days. She’s lost 20 pounds – which we thing is a hell of a way to diet. She’s reported nauseousness, dizziness and exhaustion. Really. RE-freaking-LLY **eyeroll**. She’s part of a growing number of lunatics who call themselves Breatharians. We call them idiots. Or delusional. We wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised to find that we’re related to several of them. We certainly hope they have a lot of money to inherit because this working for a living thing isn’t’ really working out.