NEW RELEASES
True Love and Genius at Work
One of the Bandit’s little friends turned 5 today so I took him and Sassy to her party. I couldn’t remember which one of his friends we were talking about. In fact, I wasn’t even sure of which sex this child was. She has one of those new fangled unisex names, Morgan. See, that could go either way, right? Once I determined it was a her, I was curious to know if it was one of his several girlfriends, so I asked The Bandit to describe her.
“She has long, brown hair and she wears a different shirt to school everyday.”
Those are the words of true love, indeed. Afterwards, in the car on the way home, he exclaimed excitedly that Morgon must love him because there was a heart-shaped piece of candy in his goody bag. Surely you’ll agree that is empirical evidence.
While the children were running amok, all hopped up on cake and frivolity, the moms and I chatted. One of them casually mentioned that the minute their child hit the back seat of the car, they would be instantly asleep. All the rest of the parents nodded agreement and I learned that each of their children all still took naps. I listened with marked jealously. The Bandit stopped taking naps some time last year.
He can stay up forever. In fact, if I ever convince you to baby sit and you think the easy way out will be to turn on a movie, cuddle him up all snuggly on the couch, and assume that he’ll be asleep in mere minutes, then you have another think coming. This child can stay up longer than many adults. The drive-in movie theater in our town finally closed, but before then, we took the kids there a lot. The Bandit would stay up for both movies in the double feature.
Later, we all trooped through the parking lot, and I watched with envy as the other moms waved goodbye and tucked their soon to be snoozing kiddos in their car seats. I imagined a world where one heard the sounds of gentle snoring from the back seat and sighed wistfully. I knew that I would not be so lucky. My prophesy was right. My drive home involved dodging paddle balls and promising to destroy whistles if they were blown “one more time.”
My Honey and I often think of the car that Homer Simpson designed that had an entirely separate area for children so he and Marge wouldn’t have to listen to the kids squabble.
Does it come in black?
When my oldest son was nearing the end of middle school, he was invited to a dance by a girl in his class. This was his second school dance. The first one was such a big deal for him and for me. He was all decked out in a new suit, and his date was so sweet in her prom-style dress and corsage! I got a little teary-eyed.
By the next dance, he felt like an old-timer. His best friend, however, was not so sure this dance was going to be the best thing for him. He came to me one afternoon with a couple of other friends in tow.
“We need to talk to you,” he said. “Jeff doesn’t really know much about this girl! She doesn’t have a very good reputation. She might throw herself at him. It could mean trouble!”
“Well, what do you think I should do?” I asked, and I could hardly wait to see what these boys were going to come up with.
“We think you need to give him ‘the talk,’ he said. “You know–THE TALK.”
It was all I could do to keep a straight face! These boys were dead serious! They were trying to protect their friend from getting into a heap of trouble the only way they knew how.
“So? Are you going to do it? Are you going to give him the talk?”
“If you think I should, then I will. I will give him the talk,” I responded in earnest.
“When?”
“I’ll do it tonight, after dinner,” I said.
“Well, can we listen??”