In case your lobotomy actually worked

Amy and I make lots of fun of Bank of No Forks – all the time. But when it’s time to admit that I learned something very valuable there, I’m willing to say so. I have mentioned in previous posts that I have many job-aids containing step-by-step instructions to order cake (if you need help, just let me know . . . ) and this month, more job-aids have arrived!!! Go get your learning face on because I’m going to share.

This month’s never-ending conference calls involve the ordering of pizza, salad, and a small dessert. There were the usual dumb questions that are always asked: What happens if I go over the $10.00 budget? What happens if I am under the $10.00 budget? What happens if I live in Utah and we don’t allow pizza within the state boundaries? What happens if everyone on the call kills themselves because of all of these dumb questions? It’s like a never ending parade of stupid. And just when I think it can’t get any worse it does. The lady leading the call, seriously and with no sarcasm, says the following:

“I’m just going to go ahead and describe a small dessert. A small dessert would be a cookie or a small brownie.”

WHAT??????

Well – thank all of the gods already invented and the ones to come!!!! There I was too embarrassed to unmute myself and ask “Just what the heck is a small dessert anyway?” And more importantly “Can we get large dessert and small pizza and salad?” Or, how about “Can we just skip the pizza and salad and get a giant dessert? Can you describe what that would look like?”

All I want to know is what moron made that explanation necessary? Exactly who is the Bank of No Forks hiring to manage its offices?

With no sarcasm or irony, I unmuted myself and asked the leader if she could email us a picture of a small dessert for reference. Not five minutes after the end of the call – here’s what we got:

a small brownie

Now you to know what a small dessert looks like. Aren’t you glad you stopped by today? You’re welcome.