Unless you have other ideas

I think there’s a poltergeist in my house. I can think of no other reasonable explanation. In my world a poltergeist is reasonable, you see. I’d love nothing more than to be proven that my guess is right.

Someone out there, please come prove it. I’m dying to meet a ghost.

So what evidence do I have that there’s a poltergeist?

Nothing so mundane as rattling chains or ghostly wails. That’s very pedestrian and not at all weird. That’s what everyone expects from a supernatural being in their house.

No mine is more sly.

Every single time we get into bed we have to put the pillow cases back on all the pillows. This is a recent development. What the hell is going on in that bed that precipitates all the pillows escaping? I assure you that My Honey and I are not that mobile. By the time I get in bed, My Honey is fast asleep, snoring like a fleet of chainsaw testers. The minute I hit the pillow I’m asleep like a dead person in a coma with a paralysis problem.

The other thing is gravel. Why is my bed always full of gravel? Why? It’s compelling, isn’t it?

It’s a gravely, flailing poltergeist. It’s the only answer.