October 25

We all got a new boss today at Bank of No Forks. Ava is always excited about that, certain that this new person will be the one to help us. “I like him,” she’ll say. Amylynn, on the other hand, will give Ava that look and say for the umpteenth time, “Ava, you’re so pretty.” As the realist, Amylynn reserves judgment. She’s more of a let’s-wait-and-see kind of a person. She gets less disappointed that way. Still, we got a free lunch out of the deal. Free lunch is good. Especially when it’s egg salad sandwiches with mayo,

cream cheese and bacon. God’s honest truth, bacon makes everything better. This week there was all kinds of funny stuff going on in the world. This is what we chose for you.

1. Dollar Menu. The McDonalds corporation is introducing some higher priced options in their dollar menu. That’s not funny, just stupid. What is funny is that they’re calling it “Dollar Menu and More”. Don’t you think it’s insane how stupid corporations think we are. It’s not “Dollar and More”, it’s just Menu at this point. So we think we’re going to change us to Quill Sisters and More. The More will be more snark, more sarcasm, and more absurdist articles about animals our husbands, and sometimes the government, won’t let us have.

2. Crotchety old men. We have a lot of retirement communities out here. Usually they’re very quiet and you don’t hear anything about them except for maybe a string of burglaries once in a while. There was some excitement this week, though. A 68-year-old gentleman woke up and his wife wasn’t in bed, so he went out to the guest house and found his 63-year-old wife in bed with a 22-year-old man. The old gent poked the kid with his cane – we love that part – to wake him up and tell him to get out. We hope he poked him REALLY hard. We can’t wait till we can start poking people with canes. The kid got all belligerent and cursed the old man out, which prompted the old man to go get

his gun. The kid ended up getting shot in the hand by what seemed to be a ricochet. We didn’t learn the wife’s response to all this. And once again we have more questions than answers. The police did say it was really rather exciting since it happened in a senior community. We’ll bet this will be BBQ fodder for months.

3.British Tushies. The British Rowing Team does a calendar every year in an effort to fight homophobia. Naked. Yes indeed. Naked as the day they were born. Each and every one of these boys has a perfect body from all that…rowing. And being young. The calendar is a thing of beauty, we’ll tell you. There are pictures of naked rowing. And naked swimming. And naked shaving. And chasing puppies around in a field. Naked. With strategically placed weeds and such. Follow the jump and you’ll

get to where you need to order the calendar. Get one for your mother and sister and gay friend George. Or anyone else naked in your life. Down with homophobia. And strategically placed weeds.

4.Hall of Frames. We showed up at this business this week with an insane request. We realized it was outrageous, but nevertheless, we had every intention of making it. We needed some things framed for an event and we needed them in record time. AND we didn’t want to pay very much for it. We went to Hall of Frames because they guy who runs the place is really nice. He’s also a little odd, which we find appealing. We were waiting outside the store before it opened. To begin the schmoozing process we held his coffee while he opened the door. Then the man with the stars tattooed on his face proceeded to TOTALLY HELP US. Surely you know from our blog, that never actually happens. No one really helps us. Ever. So, Jeff from Hall of Frames, you are officially the most talented, nicest guy to put up with our crazy whims since our grandfather died. Good work. We’re going to keep you – you will be the only person we ever ask to do our framing. We’ll bet your sorry now.

5. Keancolor Nail Polish. Amylynn found this stuff on the internet and we’re officially in love. The colors are outstanding – especially the Holo colors. The sparkle is mesmerizing. Never in a million years did we ever think we’d consider wearing green nail polish, but there it is, on our toes. We can’t stop looking at it, which is a serious problem, especially when we’re driving or on the stairs. The best part? We’ll be able to compliment our full-body casts nicely when we’re released from the hospital.