November 1

Wow! This week has really worn us out. Monday was a NIGHTMARE. We’re actually thinking some legislation needs to be passed restricting insane people’s access to email. Haven’t you received mail from someone that made your hair set on fire and it really would have been better for everyone involved if the sender wasn’t allowed to use email. Then Tuesday something SUPER EXCITING happened. You will be filled in at length in the coming week. Wednesday, Amylynn’s dog tried to commit suicide. Thursday something even more exciting happened that related to the wonderment of Tuesday. Friday came along and we’re emotionally drained. DRAINED. Still, funny things happened around the world and we found some of them.

1. Secret Mowers. The world has completely gone to hell. Criminal activity is out of control. Citizens of the world are running amok. If you were in doubt, we present this latest evidence. Someone in Liebenfels, Austria is running around mowing people’s grass. Really, what is the world coming to? How are we supposed to rest easy at night knowing that people are indiscriminately mowing fields? Why can’t people just leave other people’s grass alone? Why? Oh,the humanity.

2. Happiness and Health. A professor at the University of Arizona has stated, “We can design places for happiness and health.” We were pretty sure that’s exactly what Starbucks was, but we’re always up for an education so we read further. The good professor suggests that places that smell of lavender improve our mood. Also, seeing the trees outside will make you feel better. We are pretty secure in saying that there could be twelve-foot lavender bushes outside Bank of No Forks and that wouldn’t make us happy. We’re wondering how we’d feel if we just shoved a lavender twig up our nose. If nothing else, that might get us a leave of absence from work. That would make us happy, just sayin’.

3. Good restaurants. Amylynn had a hankering for a gyro this week so she took Ava over to a place she used to go – The Shish Kabob House. It was every bit as good as she remembered. Even better was the waiter. We informed him that the restaurant was going to be featured in Our Favorite Things and he was suitably impressed. Terrence expressed pleasure at the idea, stating, “I haven’t been anyone’s favorite thing in a really long time.” He was as awesome as the potato chip/french fries hybrid next to our gyro. Honest to Zeus, best potato option since the French invented the pommes frites .

4. The Vampire Diaries. Generally, the Sisters don’t watch the CW – too much drama. But, they’ve made an exception for the Vampire Diaries. Look at the photo right here to see why. This show is supposed to be about teenagers for teenagers. That is clearly not the case with all of the sex and drinking going on. You’ll love it too. Look here to see why. See?

5. Our cup runneth over. Every year the Sisters wait for Victoria’s Secret to present its bejeweled fantasy bra. We truly believe that one of our spouses will buy it for us for the holidays. We believe it, don’t judge. Every year that dream is dashed by the ridiculously small cup size of the bra. For some unknown reason, it’s always an A. Do the folks at VS think only tiny chest-free woman want a bra covered in gems? This year’s model has a 52-carat ruby dangling from the center the size of someone’s head. Rubies are one of our favorites. We also favor the 4200 additional rubies, blue and yellow sapphires and diamonds handset in the 18K gold. Sadly, we’re not getting the bra again this year. As hard as we tried, we weren’t able to diet down from our Ds to an A. Deep sigh.