November 15-

We’re freaking out a little bit about the fact that it’s November 15th already. We hate to sound old here, but when did time start going so fast? Really. It’s kinda insane, right? At what age does this happen? We hypothesize it begins sometime around age 30. We’re not completely sure ‘cause some of our data is skewed. Being drunk through your 20’s will do that. We only mention that last part so you’ll have the proper perspective. We know we’re not the only ones who don’t remember our 20’s – or rather remember spending a lot of time with someone holding our hair, if you know what we mean. Now that all this has come up, we really hope our

children don’t all of a sudden take an interest in our blog. Speaking of old and children, nothing makes us feel quite as old and as aware of time passing as The Boy Who Lives at Ava’s House turning 16 today. Seems unlikely, right? We’ll distract ourselves with some funny stuff. Here we go…

1. Bobbleheads. We’ve addressed the issue with that idiot mayor in Toronto all ready. If you’re unfamiliar with this man pop on any news source and you’ll find it, no problem. The only good thing about the story is that it lets Americans know that there are moronic politicians across the globe. Often times we get the erroneous impression that the US has a lock on morons. Yea! We don’t! They’re everywhere! The good people of Toronto are prospering over this debacle by selling “Robbie Bobbie” bobblehead dolls. They’re a steal at $20 apiece. The best part is the idiot mayor doesn’t even realize they’re making fun of him and consequently you might even get one signed by the idiot himself.

2. Reporters with a sense of humor. We complain long and loud about reporters not including all the pertinent information in news articles. It’s beyond annoying, so whenever we find an article, especially an Associated Press article, written by someone with a sense of humor we’re willing to give a onetime free pass. Such an article came out of Copiague, NY this week. Apparently, there has been a horrifying shortage of knishes due to a fire in a knish factory. Who knew that one factory supplied all of the knishes. That seems like a money making idea for some enterprising young person with more time and energy than the Sisters. Anyway, the headline read, “Kvetcing (sp) over lack of knishes to end soon.” That was amusing enough to get us to read further – and let’s be honest, it was about food so the likelihood that we’d read further anyway was excellent. The best line reads as follows, “A fire at a factory billed as the world’s biggest maker of knishes has created nationwide shock and oy…” BLAhahahahahaa. That’s brilliant. Well played, AP. Well played.

3. More animals we need. We present to you the Pink Fairy Armadillo. We didn’t even make that name up. Seriously. Google it yourself. The name caught our eye and when we found the info on it we fell in love. These little cuties only grow to a maximum of 5 inches long and weigh less than a pound. At that rate, we’ll be able to stuff ten or twelve of them in our pockets for the trip home. They live in sand and eat ants. AND THEY’RE PINK! Notice the fuzz under the shell. It’s described as soft, fine hair. What part of this animal is not appealing? They might even have magical powers, they’re so freaking cute. We’re organizing a trip to Argentina. You in?

4. Weird damn art. It just so happens that we love this piece. It’s seriously adorable. It’s official name is Balloon Dog (Orange) by Jeff Koons and its constructed out of stainless steel. It’s fun and light and makes you feel happy – so long as you can avoid thinking about clowns when you look at it. Clowns are creepy whether they make balloon animals or not. Anyway, the reason we bring up Balloon Dog is because it just sold for 58.4 million dollars. MILLION. That makes Mr. Koons the proud record holder of “the most expensive work by a living artist sold at auction.” We cannot fathom who these people are that can afford 58.4 million dollars for a sculpture. Honestly, if they have that much God damned money we have a trip to Argentina that needs a sponsor.

5. Other unusual pets. Last week there was a report of a small alligator being found at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, under an escalator. It made the news because everyone was pondering how an alligator just happened to wander into one of the busiest airports in the county undetected. Well, thanks to Big Brother we know where the scaly dude came from. A woman has been found via surveillance cameras with it on the El. The Blue Line to be specific and getting off at O’Hare. When she got back on the train there was no alligator. There’s all kinds of conjecture about why she’d be on the train with an alligator in the first place. Well, how the hell else do you expect her to get from one place to the other with her alligator? People are worrying about all the wrong things. What they need to be worrying about is why she’d have an alligator in the first place. We don’t approve of animals that aren’t fuzzy. In general, they’re a bad idea. Our spouses are overjoyed at this news. They can mark alligators off the list of potential reasons we’re being monitored by the FBI.