We are not too proud for blackmail

So the Pope is the Time Man of the Year. As far as we’re concerned that is neither here nor there, and we have no opinion if it’s a good or bad thing. The only time we venture into politics or religion is when they’re funny. We have a rather disturbed world view so this is often the case.

We’ll admit that we get a lot of our information from the internet. Sometimes that’s very good because it’s up to the minute, streaming-

This is not the right Pope but it is TOTALLY the right hat. Two please.

as-it-happens kinda thing. Other times it’s not beneficial because the internet is stupid.

Not too long ago we had a brief freak out over some fake, rumoresque nonsense that the Pope was gay and resigning office. There was shrieking and wonderment expressed at a loud volume. Then we immediately popped on the internet to REAL news sites and we learned that it was all a load of hokum. No such thing happened.

So today, when we learned that the Pope was given the honor by Time, we saw a chance to benefit from our gullibility.

We thought it possible we might be receiving a visit from some representative of the Holy See regarding some slanderous talk. Here is our official response:

WE HEREBY PROMISE TO STOP SAYING THAT STUFF IF YOU CAN HOOK US UP WITH A PAIR OF NIFTY POINTED HATS AND SOME RED PRADA SHOES.

Deal?