December 27

We lived through Christmas. We lived through the sales. We lived through the opening of presents and visits from Santa Claus. Hopefully we live through this Christmas cold that seems to want to settle into our chests and declare formal residency. Like it’s trying to get cheaper college rates for its kids or something. We’ve used the new Keurig machine we got and made lots of coffee. We sat, jittering, on the couch and tried to read our new books. The best thing was all the time away from Bank of No Forks. We hope you had a chuckle filled holiday. Here’s some of what we found.

1. Elves in Iceland. The Icelandic people take their elves very seriously. In the last poll, at least 62% of them believe it was possible they exist. These days they even have political representation. They’re called Huldufolk which means “hidden folk.” That’s cute. Come on, admit it. The latest deal with the Huldufolk is that they’re disrupting a highway project that would cut through a lava field and possibly destroy an elvish church. We were hoping for lively evidence such as elvish sabotage or photographic evidence. Sadly, they don’t have any, well at least any they’re willing to put in the newspaper. It’s disappointing since this is the magical time of year you’d think elves would show up.

2. Dennis got dissed. US resident jackass, Dennis Rodman, went to North Korea again, but this time he didn’t get a chance to see his “friend” Kim Jong Un. Dennis says he’s not disappointed because he didn’t expect to see Kim every time he goes to North Korea. Still, we bet he cried at night in his hotel, clutching a Beanie Baby and watching sappy American movies dubbed into Korean. Dennis claims he understands that Kim has important work to do for his country and it’s OK, but you know that when Kim sent a note over stating he was working late and wouldn’t be able to make it, Dennis was upset. After all, he washed his hair and everything.

3. Australians know how to celebrate. The police in Melbourne gave away scratcher lottery tickets on Christmas instead of speeding tickets this year. How awesome is that? We know how easy it is to speed on Christmas. It’s stressful when you keep getting calls from your sister every five minutes demanding that you hurry up and get over there so that presents can be opened. Sometimes these things are not your fault and if you live in Melbourne the police understand. Way to go, Australia. We’d get on a plane and get right over there if there weren’t so many terrifying things lying in wait to kill us the minute we got off the plane.

4. Darcy the Flying Hedgehog. This Instagram account is so cute we almost hurt ourselves looking at it. We even joined Instagram in order to keep up with her photo shoots. She belongs to a Japanese fellow who is determined to make her the most famous hedgehog in the world. We can’t imagine that’s difficult since we can’t name any other hedgehogs off the tops of our heads. Everyone write your congressmen about making hedgehog ownership legal. It’s just not fair. That’s our mission in 2014. HEDGEHOGS FOR EVERYONE!

5. National Chocolate Day. Is December 28th. That’s tomorrow. Nothing could make us happier. Unless a panda showed up at the house wearing a pair of Prada shoes and carrying a box of Godiva.