It’s all our fault if you need a scapegoat

We’re Moms. We get blamed for everything. It’s always our fault when the kid gets a D in Algebra, or the basketball pump is missing, or there are only left shoes in the kid’s rooms. We can take the heat – like ducks, we let the criticism roll off our backs.

Now that we’re at the end of yet another year where a lot of things didn’t go as planned we thought we go ahead and fall on that sword for you. It will be our community service for the year 2013.

Here you go –

The following things are all our fault:

Obama Care Website: We don’t know what we were thinking setting that site up like we did. We can barely keep this site going and no one comes here but us and you people. How we thought we could get millions of Americans enrolled in health care was beyond stupid. We’re not even very fluent with our iPhones much less National Heath Care. We’re idiots and we humbly apologize.

Global Warming: This was also our fault. We’re not sure if we were supposed to make it warmer when it’s cold, or colder when it’s warm, but either way, we failed miserably. You can also tack on wild fires, mud slides, hurricanes, tornadoes and swarms of locusts. We lay prostrate before you.

Miley Cyrus: Yeah, we got nothin’. That girl needs some people. She’s not returning our calls anymore so we’re going to have to wash our hands of her. At least she’s flexible. You gotta give her that. We beg your forgiveness.

The Red Wedding: Wow! That was awful. Horribly, wonderfully awful. To be honest, we wish we’d thought of it. If you’re not a reader of the Fire and Ice series by George R. R. Martin you really didn’t see that coming did you? And even if you did read the books, this was just different enough to freak you out. That, our friends, is good damn television. Mind blowing, jaw dropping television. We’re not sorry about this one. If you want, you can transfer your angst to the loss of Khal Drogo. We miss him tremendously.

War on Christmas. Now that the presents have been opened and the new clothes have been worn and the new toys played with, Christmas is dead to us. Take down that damn tree and put that obnoxious crap away.  Don’t listen to JoJo Kitty, he’d leave the tree up all year if we’d let him.  We love Santa and all, but we want our living rooms back. Our self-reproach knows no limits.

If we’ve missing anything, feel free to load up our comments. We’re willing to entertain all requests.