NEW RELEASES
DON’T Light a Match!
If you’re thinking about coming over to my house, I’d skip it if I were you. Not only is the place its usual mess, but you’re likely as not to be asphyxiated.
Intrigued?
I came home from work today, walked through the front door and immediately gasped for breath.
It seems The Bandit absconded with Sassy’s fingernail polish remover solution and spilled 90% of it on the carpet in his room. Of course, he didn’t tell anyone for fear that he’d get in trouble.
We had to rush right back out of the house to a dinner engagement so there was no opportunity to air out the house. When we returned tonight, my eyes watered when I opened the door. We’ve turned all the fans on and opened a few windows. What we really need is to turn on the cooler, but it’s much too cold for that.
If you don’t hear from me soon by way of a blog post assuring you that we’ve all lived through this, I bequeath my unpublished manuscripts to the Sisters. Ava will assume that this is a whole ploy to get someone else to work on my revision.
The fumes are making me hallucinate. A while ago, I thought the Care Bears were here. I can’t feel my feet. Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like buzzz……….ack……wheeze………..
When I read the title, I thought for sure that someone had made a particularly spicey Mexican meal and was now paying the consequences.
My kids spilled plenty of stuff on the carpet when they were young. Middle daughter spilled a bottle of nail polish and tried to get it up with remover, which of course didn’t work, so I know all too well the smell of those fumes.
Nothing they did could compare with what the cat dragged in, though. I was doing my weekly thorough cleaning of oldest son’s room one day, and as soon as I walked through the door, I smelled an odor most foul! Oldest son was 5 at the time, and I had gotten used to finding questionable items in his room on occasion. He was particularly fond of worms, and would place them on the rug and watch them wriggle. Then he would get bored and just leave them there to dry out and stick.
This was worse! Much worse! And it wasn’t his fault. The cat had crept into the house and deposited a dead rat under his bed. When I saw it, I gagged and went to fetch a shovel and a plastic bag. Then I got the duct tape and plugged up the hole by the window unit where Georgia had come in with her prize.
Polish remover, you say? It could be worse!