It’s not easy being green

Things we didn’t do, yesterday, in celebration of Earth Day.

1. Go outside. We find outside to be a let down. It always looks lovely in pictures and on television. Often it even looks pleasant enough through the window. Sadly, when we do venture outside it often turns out to be hot. Or cold.  Or windy. Or very dry. Or too humid. Or, how do we say it?  Outside.

2. Ride a bicycle to work. You have got to be kidding. You’re kidding, right? Right? Did you think for even one second this was going to happen? You’re even more delusional than we were when we built that panda pen in the back yard.

3. Set up a compost. You understand that happens outside right? See #1.  Also, do you understand that compost is rotting garbage?  Ewwwwwww.

4. Hug a tree. Outside again. Do you see a theme here?

Things we did do in celebration of Earth Day.

1. We skipped the shower. We took the opportunity to sleep an extra ten minutes. It was probably all a wash though because then we had an extra (or three) cups of coffee instead.

2. We paid for stuff online. We love the internet and we’re especially fond of Amazon. If you buy from Amazon you never have to go outside again.  Like ever.

3. Hugged the wildlife. Well the wildlife that we managed to lure into the house.  We used all purpose “Animal Chow” from Purina.  Amazon delivered it right to the door.

4. Break the plastic water bottle habit. We’re totally in on this. We’re now only drinking our margaritas in the office coffee mugs that we’re no longer washing.

You’re welcome planet. We think you’re AWESOME! Stay green.