January 30

Today is National Croissant Day. Our kids think we make these days up as an excuse to eat bakery items. We don’t need an excuse. We’ll eat a bakery item for no reason whatsoever. But, you know, when it’s the NATIONAL day of commemoration of something like a croissant it seems somehow unpatriotic not to eat one. Even though they’re French. Also, the economy is counting on us eating croissants. We can’t have the closure of another bakery on our conscious again. We don’t need that kind of stress. Nobody needs that kind of stress. Everybody ~ just eat a croissant and calm down. It’s all going to be ok. Read this funny stuff and breathe…

1. They’re doing it wrong. A woman in New Hampshire went to a Burger King drive-thru and, instead of getting her Jr. Spicy chicken sandwich, she got a bag full of cash. $2,361 to be exact.  Apparently, the braniac working the drive-thru gave her the bank deposit. The woman called her husband and together they decided to return the cash. The Sisters wonder all the time what we’d do in this situation. We’re not sure we’d be such upstanding citizens. We will tell you what, though. If we took that deposit back to the store, we sure as hell expect free milkshakes for the rest of our lives.

2. SkyMall red tag sale. Ya’ll, the SkyMall is declaring bankruptcy. You know, that catalog in the back of your seat on an airplane that sells A-MAZE-ING things you never knew you needed for way more than any normal person is willing to spend. Like the cat Litter Robot for $359.00. We expect there’ll be a massive clearance sale. The kind where you have to stand around in a store and do math so you know if 70% off is a reasonable price to pay for a robot litter box. Before the sale, we’re gonna make a Burger King run. You want anything?

3. Bad waitresses! Amylynn met Ava for lunch at a restaurant near Ava’s office. We were super excited because there was going to be pizza. AND DESSERT. The dessert menu looked incredible and we carefully plotted out our meal – a greek pizza and a Margherita to split in half and share and cheesecake with lemon prosecco zabaglione. While we were working through Amylynn’s plot issues, the ladies at the next table received their dessert. Amylynn had to immediately inquire as to what they’d ordered because it looked and smelled incredible ~ a giant piece of warm, fudgy chocolate cake with gelato. The ladies turned out to be a hoot! Nancy the Artist demanded our spoons and then gave us each a heaping bite while Joy the Dietician

Our gorgeous stylist!

chortled away on the other side of the booth. All we can say is thank god they were so generous because our crappy waitress did such a horrible job we didn’t have time to order any dessert of our own. Bad waitress. Bad, bad, bad. Thank you, Nancy and Joy. We have true love for you and your dessert sharing ways.

4. Free hand massages. It’s no secret that the Sisters are in love with our salon. J. Scordato’s Salon gives us the most glorious color you’ve ever seen. Today when Amylynn went in to have the grays banished back to hell, not only did she leave with glorious hair and sparkling conversation, but also a free hand massage from Mami. Amylynn’s hands hurt all the time. It’s the cost of all that typing. When she was offered a free massage she almost cried. Seriously. The idea that someone would rub her hands with almond lotion is enough to make her a lifetime devotee. Thank you, Jackie and Mami.

5. The Nightly Show! Once again Comedy Central has brought us another brilliant “news” show that’s often smarter than the regular “news” shows with the side effect of being funny on purpose. (NOT like Fox News isn’t funny because that sh*t is funny, everything they say makes us laugh.What’s that you say? It’s not supposed to be funny? Surely, you’re mistaken because that station is hysterical.) Larry Wilmore used to be on The Daily Show as the Senior Black Correspondent. You’re not there yet, Mr. Wilmore, but if you keep up the good work you’ll soon join the pantheon of Smart/Funny Men The Quill Sisters Have Crushes On.