Just kidding. Bankers love me.

If you ever want to really piss off a bank teller I suggest taking a bag of change and dropping it on her counter. Follow that up by saying, “I think I have $11 dollars here.”

Sassy insisted that she wanted to sell candy for school when that soul sucking fund raiser came up. For those of you with no children, I assure you, school fundraisers are the bane of our existence.

Anyway, she came home with a box of 40 candy bars. When the nightmare ended, there were a few dollars shoved in the envelope – no doubt from the few her father and I bought upon her pleading. There was also a crap load of coins in there. Regardless of all of that, I still had to write a check for $29.

I went to the bank because my purse was so heavy I was leaning to the left. I’m certain that shoulder is an inch lower than the other one. If I didn’t cash it in for bills I was going to develop a hump.

The teller gave me a look over her reader glasses, took a deep breath, and started counting. For some reason she didn’t want to take my word for that $11 figure.

Do I not seem totally trustworthy?