March 27

Amylynn got a tetanus and a MMR booster today. The doctor asked her which arm she wanted to hurt. Why does it have to hurt? Why? She picked her left. Since she’s a right-y she rarely uses that left one anyway. Really it’s just there to keep her shirts balanced. She doesn’t even use it to turn on Dave’s blinker. We firmly believe blinkers are for wusses. Unless you’re in Albuquerque. If you’re there please note that they take their turn signals very seriously. Don’t mess around. EVEN if you’re in the lane clearly marked LEFT TURN ONLY you had better have that left blinker blinking its little guts out. Somehow this turned into a rant about New Mexico’s traffic laws and that’s not where we expected it to go. You’d be surprised how many of our actual conversations veer off like this. Actually, you probably wouldn’t. Nevermind. Here’s some funny stuff.

1. Get ready to rumble! The oldest Bright kids are in Denver right now at the First Robotics competition. This year’s robot is named Elio, and he’s a looker! He’s already helped the kids win an award in AZ last weekend, and he’s raring to go in CO. His job is to clean up trash and save the planet. We’ll bet he can do it, too. Go Elio!

2. Have you seen the traffic? A guy got a ticket in Fife, Washington this week for Driving With Cardboard. It’s possible that wasn’t the reason stated on the ticket. Point in fact, he was driving with a cardboard cut out of the Dos Equis beer guy – you know the one – The Most Interesting Man in the World – in the passenger seat in the HOV lane. We looked that up once cause we didn’t think Hippos On Viagra was what the Department of Transportation was actually thinking when they printed up the signs. It means High Occupancy Vehicle. Thank God for Google. Anyway, the dude was stopped by a motorcycle cop because apparently it’s not legal to be interesting. Or something like that. We’ll bet the driver thought it was interesting when he got a $126 ticket, and we’ll bet his boss also thought it was interesting when he was late for work.

3. Space age La Di Da! Have you seen the new Mercedes luxury car? The F015 Luxury in Motion is very aptly named.  It’s a self-driving, hydrogen-electric automobile with 4 swiveling seats, 6 digital touch screens, 2 LED displays, and a laser projection system. Did you catch that part in the beginning where we said “self-driving”? That means you could read or sleep or whatever the hell you want while cruising down the road in luxury. Except have sex. The seat configuration doesn’t really scream, “sex me up!”. Although it’s certainly possible. We’re not advocating that, you understand. We think the whole idea predicts one hell of a case of motion sickness and you definitely shouldn’t throw up in a F015 Luxury in Motion we don’t care how good the sex is.

4. Mmmmm, pizza. The Brights were on a quest for dinner the other night. We’d stood around in the kitchen and stared in the refrigerator and pondered the pantry and came up with nothing. It wasn’t that there wasn’t food. On the contrary, it was just one of those nights when nothing appealed. So we went out into the world to forage. We ended up at the new Pizza Studio. The idea is that each personal pizza is made to order – every thing from toppings, to sauce, to the type of crust. With the exception that they were out of mushrooms – !!! – we give it a thumbs up. Make sure you try the rosemary herb crust. Delicioso!

5. The sisters were nowhere near Missouri. We’re just putting that out there first before someone casually mentions it. Two camels and 2 steers were stolen from a Missouri farm this week. First of all, the Sisters have absolutely no use for steers. There’s no way we’re going to get permission to put their horns on the front of Ava’s Jaguar anyway. The camels however gave us pause. We’ll admit that, while we didn’t do any camel-napping, we are kinda fascinated with the beasts. They’re very pretty with those long eyelashes. Our favorite part of the news story was when it was pointed out that the thieves probably used a trailer to steal the 9 foot camels and their bovine friends. You think? It would have been a much better story if they had just climbed on board their humps and ridden them away on the freeway. That’s how you know we weren’t involved. Absolutely no style was used in this crime. We’ll probably be caught, but at least the story will be stylish and funny – what with the low speed camel chase on the freeway and all.