April 3

The Easter Bunny is coming this weekend. The Sisters have set an elaborate trap for the fellow using a bunch of couch cushions, a bag of Starburst jelly beans, and an old bed sheet. If you live further west than the Sisters, and the bunny doesn’t make it to your house, then you can be assured our plan worked. Our husbands won’t let us go to China or points further to get the animals we want. Instead we have negotiated terms we can work with. Essentially it allows us to keep anything that “follows us home”. We’ve made a very loose interpretation of that agreement as we’re sure you can imagine. We always wanted a bunny and we figure a bunny with easy access to chocolate is the one for us. Wish us luck. Here’s more silly stuff.

1. They only sleep 16 hours a day. Redbox announced a new program called PetBox and it advertised itself as specializing in videos to keep your pet entertained while you are at work. Look, we’ve heard of stupider ways to waste money. The advertising photo included a bevy of adorable fuzzy creatures panting to rent Gone Squirrel and Pig Hero 6 among a bunch of adorably altered titles. If that in any way helps us get an alpaca, then we figured we’re in. Sadly, it turned out to be an April Fools joke. We’ll admit, we were kinda disappointed.

2. Maybe for a white cake square. You’ve probably heard about this already, but it totally cracked us up. There is a 4-year-old girl in Philadelphia who really, really likes Slushies.  She woke up in the middle of the night with a hankering. At 3am she unlocked the back door, walked herself to the bus stop and hopped on. The bus driver thought it was odd, but she seemed determined and well-organized. She chanted, “All I want is a Slushie” while she swung her short little legs in the seat. It didn’t even matter that it was pouring outside. Fortunately, the bus driver is a father of 3 kids, and though he found her excursion scary, it was also an amusing adventure. He called the police and she was reunited with freaked out parents. Unbelievably, there is no answer in the news article if she actually got her Slushie or not.

3. We think it’s brilliant. Some guy in Odessa, Texas outfitted his truck with lights and sirens. He even went so far as to wear a uniform. He is not a member of law enforcement. Not even a volunteer firefighter. Here’s the deal, he wasn’t trying to arrest people, which was poor planning on his part as far as we’re concerned. He used these effects to get through stop lights around town. He got caught when he used the lights and siren

She looks like she means business

to cut in line at a fast food drive through. You can’t mess with people and their value meals. He got nabbed for impersonating an officer. A hungry one obviously. People always get caught when they get greedy.

4. Seems a bit extreme. A woman in Akron, Ohio stabbed her boyfriend because he ate all her salsa. This may have been a bit of an over the top reaction. We mean, really, salsa? We’ve never in our lives ever tasted salsa that was good enough to get that worked up over–not even the mango kind. It’s not like he ate all the chocolate chip ice cream or sampled a bit too much of her Godiva chocolate from Valentine’s Day or something. Still, the more we think about it, the more we can sorta understand where she’s coming from. When you go to the kitchen and you have a deep yen for a specific thing and it’s not there things can go very badly. We suggest this lady come with a warning label for the next guy. You know. In the spirit of full disclosure.

5. Obviously. We did a quick search on this blog and it turns out that Cadbury Eggs were never one of our favorite things. Seriously. We couldn’t believe it either. How could we have been so remiss? We’ll make up for it now. Here is a Cadbury inspired haiku.

Chocolate egg, my love; At only Easter. My love; my egg, till next year.