Bagel slicing is the 5th most dangerous thing to do in your kitchen – right after frying bacon naked.

This morning I sliced my palm open. This was very annoying, not just because it hurt – which it did! – but because I did it doing something I clearly wasn’t supposed to be doing.

I’m not allowed to be eating bagels. Don’t you know bread is the devil’s food? That’s why it’s so freaking good, don’t you know. I was making it for my kids. Umhumm, that’s my story. So there I was, slicing a bagel I wasn’t allowed to be eating. I held it in my hand and used the giant-assed bread knife from our block. I proceeded to do that thing that

BRI means – Bagel Related Injury

you’re mother told you not to do.

I sawed through that bagel like a lumberjack and only stopped when the knife met the flesh of my palm.

I can’t even really complain about it because I totally know better.

You wouldn’t know me very well if you seriously thought I didn’t complain.

Right off, I texted Ava. “I just sliced my palm open.”

Her response is so very Quill Sisters. “That will go perfectly with my 3rd degree burn from my flat iron.”

Honestly, we shouldn’t be left to our own devices. We can’t even eat or do our hair without adult supervision.