June 5

It rained today. It was all over the news forecast. The sky was cloudy. None of this was a surprise. However, when Ava pulled her beautiful new Jaguar into the car wash like she does every Friday morning, they were surprised. “You know it’s raining, right?” they asked. She made them wash it anyway. That’s what a person does who has purchased the unlimited car washes plan. She made them vacuum the interior and wipe down all the seats. She probably even made them wash the windshield (I did.). She would like it pointed out that it was only sprinkling when she went in, and the pouring didn’t start until she pulled back out into traffic. Can you imagine what the guys at the car wash had to say about that? She’d just shrug. We’re used to it. Here are some other stories we wondered about this week. You’re welcome.

1. National Donut Day. We celebrated this today. It’s one of the high holy days for the Quill Sisters. We ordered our donuts from the best donut bakery in the entire world. It just happens to be here in town. Aren’t we lucky? These donuts are the lightest, fluffiest pieces of pastry you’ve ever encountered. We’re pretty sure they use unicorn horns to stir the batter and then wee elves wearing Teflon suits use tiny bellows to puff them up while they’re in the oven. You simply can’t believe when you bit into one that it’s real. Or that it’s not a dream. The glaze is so delicate, so perfect, that butterflies must brush it on with a Phoenix feather. But we wax poetic. You’d have to try them for yourself. We’re not going to tell you where they are because then there won’t be enough left for us the next time we’re craving an extra 17 pounds on our hips.

2. Amylynn asked for custody of the cat. We’re very sad to report that the 27 year marriage between Ava and Ed is sure to fail. It’s just not destined to last. A horrible omen rose up this past week that speaks nothing but doom. The Parisian city council has ordered that all the Love Locks attached to all the bridges crossing the Seine be removed and destroyed. They mumbled some nonsense about all the locks (estimated to number more than half a million on the Ponts des Arts bridge alone) are weighing down the bridges so much as to make them dangerous. Indeed, some of the railings have toppled right into the river. If the lock goes, surely that’s a bad sign, right? Jared Leto should not be surprised if his life changes drastically very soon.

3.We have a few better ideas. Ever since that Bucket List movie came out, everyone has a bucket list. Some of them are good – like going to Venice or having a pet panda – and some of them are just stupid. Case in point, a 91-year-old man in Chicago wanted to know what it’s like to drive a car through a garage door. Really?  Ava could have told him. She could also tell him what it’s like to hit a giant yellow parked school bus or drive into traffic with the sun-shield still on the front window. How does any of that belong on a bucket list? It doesn’t. After he did it, he said he didn’t know what could ever top it. How about backing over the garbage cans? That ought to top it.

4. Visiting Relatives. Ava’s nieces are in town. A perfect evening was had by all when it was suggested they all go shoe shopping and on to In-n-Out Burger for milk shakes and then over to McDonald’s for fries. These delicious bad-for-you snacks were happily consumed at home while

Not the most comfortable position…

modeling new shoes and watching a movie. Bliss.

5. That’s no bull, he’s our brother. The Sisters always enjoy a good story about their own kind. It seems a bull in Atlanta fell down a well. It took a while to rescue him so, while he waited, he took a nap. Yup, a nap in the middle of his rescue.  He’s our kind alright. He didn’t even leave when he could, he finished his nap first. Bucket list: 1.Nap in a well. Check mark!