Maybe they can sell the story to the Comedy Channel

I saw this on Facebook. Our writer friend Alica posted it and it might be one of the best news stories I’ve ever read. I was going to save it for Friday and use it for one of our Favorite Things, but I couldn’t wait.

Seriously. Best. News. Story. EVER.

The first line is possibly the finest line in journalism ever written.

Prepare yourself. Here we go.

A former meerkat expert at London Zoo has been ordered to pay compensation to a monkey handler she attacked with a wine glass in a love spat over a llama-keeper.

Am I wrong? Doesn’t that roll off your tongue like poetry? Shakespeare himself couldn’t have written anything more majestic.

It follows up with the some boring stuff and then wraps up with this little gem.

Westlake [meerkat expert] had claimed that Sanders [monkey keeper] punched her first, and said she did not remember hitting her colleague with the glass.

She was fired by the zoo after the incident.

Well, the firing is a shame. Think how exciting the news story following the Christmas Party would have been.