December 4

Today is one of the Sister’s birthdays. You can probably surmise from the fact that you haven’t already heard about this repeatedly as the date approached that it’s Ava’s birthday and not Amylynn’s. Ava handles birthdays like an adult – quietly and with dignity – as opposed to her sister who believes birthdays should be announced well in advance and repeatedly in order to maximize the amount of attention one gets on her “special day”. Regardless of this difference in philosophy, it is Ava’s birthday and something should be done. Let’s pause here and sing because everyone loves it when that happens in a restaurant, right? When all those off-key and psychotically enthusiastic waiters clap like maniacs and sing some ridiculous branded version of the song. Bliss! So set down your cup of coffee or Jack Daniels and warm up your pipes. Ready… Go! (Pause for effect) Well that was just lovely. You deserve some silly stuff as a reward.

1. Vampire Diaries. We’ve mentioned this show before – twice as a matter of fact – back in October and November of 2013. At that time, Ava and The-girl-who-lives-at-her-house had just started watching it and they were very gushy over Ian Somerhalder, et al. Now Amylynn and Sassy have started watching and the gushing hasn’t lessened. The reason we’re bringing it up again is because Amylynn has been blown away by the excellent story telling techniques employed on the show. The characters are complex and literally every single break ends with a cliff hanger. Getting a writing lesson has never been so painless and sexy. If anyone gives you a hard time about watching it, give them a haughty stare down and tell them you’re watching it for the articles – IF you know what we mean. **wink wink**

2. Hope they weren’t the snapping kind. A Canadian man was caught trying to smuggle turtles into Canada. We think. The whole smuggling operation seems a bit unclear, but it looks like he buys the turtles on line, picks them up in the US and then gets them somehow to China through Ontario. This time he was trying to get 1,000 of them across the border in Michigan by taping them to his body. It seems the authorities were on to him. They observed him under surveillance pick up a box from UPS, disappear behind some trucks, then emerge with “irregularly shaped bulges” under his sweat pants. We suspect he’s going to use that phrase to bolster his reputation in prison. The Canadian’s stopped him at the border and found 51 turtles taped to his legs.  Apparently he regularly deals in turtle shipments valuing $125,000. Who knew. Seriously. The Sisters have been looking for a new line of work. We’re going to do some test runs with Scotch tape and Swedish Fish. We already have “irregularly shaped bulges”.

3. 16 Personalities. We’re crazy but not that certifiable. We’ve both taken the 16 Personality Quiz and it’s remarkably accurate – if  you can answer the questions truthfully and not the way you think you should answer. Turns out Amylynn is a comedian with a desire to be the center of attention (we already knew that – she’s a Leo for Zeus’s sake) and Ava is bossy. OK, the results aren’t actually that simplistic, but by and large we were both amazed at how much we were pegged. Follow the link. Find out who you are, or at least the internet thinks you are. We personally think you’re wonderful.

4. Purloined rings. Amylynn bought Ava a sea shell ring for her birthday. Amylynn knew it was exactly what Ava wanted because every time she hers, Ava tried to steal it. Somehow it would magically disappear from Amy’s right hand and find its way to Ava’s. It was mystical. Either that or she’s been practicing hypnosis. It was a very pretty ring made from a sea shell. It cost all of $8 in a cute little shop in San Diego, but Ava has an affinity for cool jewelry. It took some time, but Amylynn found one on Etsy and got it in time for her birthday. When August comes around, Amylynn’s going to start stealing Ava’s diamond and we’ll see how that works out. Cross your crossables.

5. Chinese Food for your birthday. That’s what Ava wanted and that’s what she got. Ava’s on a constant quest for the perfect eggroll. It’s a hobby that can be frustrating, but the taste tests are a worthy venture. On this evening, the eggrolls were fine, just fine, but nothing special. The cherry beef on the other hand was fabulous. There was one thing that might have ruined the whole atmosphere – all the Hispanic employees. Which is pretty funny, really.  Egg Foo Enchilada is a cheap joke, but we’re doing to make it anyway.