Oh Sherlock…

I’m sitting here watching the brand new Sherlock: The Abominable Bride, and it occurs to me that I have a case I’d love to put forth to Sherlock. It’s most definitely beneath him, but I’m flabbergasted.

The Bandit has lost his phone. The last time he’s certain he had it was after we saw Star Wars the day after Christmas. When do you suppose he told his father and I that he can’t find it? That would be yesterday. I’m sure the thought he would get in to trouble, and was trying to forestall that event. I’m sure he will. All in all, however, I’d rather find his damn phone.

He claims Transient Global Amnesia regarding the location of his phone. There was just enough juice in it to run the locator and it implied that it is somewhere in our house. Now the darn thing’s battery is completely dead and using any other means besides manual skill is beyond us.

My Honey and I took to the boy’s room while he was spending the night at a friend’s. We suspected it was somewhere

Dried blueberries

in that garbage dump. His room was “clean” as perceived by a 10-year-old boy or by Fred Sanford of Sanford and Son. That means there is a nice path towards his bed and the most of his toys are put out of view. I grabbed a large wooden sword and headed under the bed. My Honey climbed up to the top bunk. Thank god, Jojo Kitty was here to help.

We didn’t find his phone. What we did find was:

• 8 pairs of dirty underwear
• Remember all those mismatched socks I decided to throw away? Their mates were under the bed. At least 17 of them.
• Random pairs of pajama bottoms
• A shocking number of orange peels.
• miscellaneous candy wrappers
• two pillow cases – Aha! That’s where they went!
• a harmonica
• a lot of books – that does mildly warm my heart
• 570 Matchbox cars
• The cat four times – he insisted on climbing under there with me and I kept extracting him.
• 3 large rocks – can’t fathom why
• 8,657 random Lego parts
• 2 plastic cartons that once held fruit. One of which we believe was blueberries based on the dried blue balls rattling around inside.