Us tired people need all the help we can get

I won a Fitbit at our company Christmas Party. That’s right. The fat girl “won” the Fitbit. I had no idea I wanted this, but it’s actually pretty fascinating. Do not for one second believe that this Fitbit business ties into a New Year’s Resolution. I have made no such thing. I refuse to set myself up for that kind of failure. There are plenty of third party sources that can disappoint me. I don’t need to do it to myself.

Nevertheless, I had no idea this Fitbit would be so cool. Get this – it promises to chart how I sleep.

Blahahahahahahaha. That made me laugh when I read it. I don’t sleep. Stupid Fitbit. Now I have proof. For example, last night it told me I got 5 hours and 19 minutes of sleep BUT I was restless 17 times and woke up 1 time for a total of 39 minutes awake or restless.

No wonder I’m crabby.

Of course it also counts my steps. Sadly it can’t tell when I’m just walking or when I’m storming down the hall at work to go yell at someone. It seems like I should get more credit for furiously stomping, don’t you?

Do I get extra points for flailing my arms when I’m gesticulating wildly? No, I do not.

Also, gritting my teeth – no points.

Speeding to get to work on time? Nope.

Hollering at children is basically useless from a fitness point of view.

Hey – Fitbit people – what can you do for me on this? Seems like you should up your game.