I guess we better not get caught

This Sisters have a friend who has a relative in prison. We’ve all been there, right?

We were talking with this friend about how his nephew was doing and we learned several definitive things – beyond the usual – reasons why we can never go to prison.

Wait – would I get my own room?

It’s not the orange jumpsuits. Or the soap situation in the shower. Or any other horrifying things you can think of from B movies.

These reasons are very serious.

#1.  Carbs. We thought we’d at least lose weight if we went to prison. Turns out no. The food is horrible and all carbs. Think white bread and potatoes. That will not do. No one looks good in an orange jumpsuit when fat.

#2. Budgeting. Here’s the problem. You beg and plead and finally get your family to put money in your commissary account. Then you find out you’re only allowed to spend so much per month. What we’re telling you is that you have to budget your meager funds. Like prison isn’t bad enough. Jeez.

#3. Camp. It seems this nephew is in a white-collar prison. He describes it as a cross between kindergarten and summer camp. That’s cinches it. We don’t camp. Especially on a budget.

By the way, this white-collar prison doesn’t have a tennis court. They have a softball league. Sigh. Our visions are shattered. It’s like everything we ever knew was a lie.