Oh, Did I Giggle

I am going to Hell.  I’m pretty sure. 

So I received a call from my husband today while I was at work.

“Hi, Lovey,” I’m always happy to hear from him at work.  “How are you?”

“Oh, I could be better,” he said softly

“Why?”

“Guess.” 

I don’t know about you, but I cringed at this.  I don’t want to guess.  Just tell me what disaster has befallen us because, as you might guess, my imagination is  crazy enough without being given a full leash.

So, dear Reader, sit back and try to envision this with your mind’s eye.  We live in the Southwestern desert where it is REALLY hot.  We have an above ground pool for the kids to swim and hang out in.  It’s not quite a “concrete pond” but, hey they don’t know they’re red-necks.  So my husband has been getting it ready the last two days: buying a new liner, some filter thingamajig, etc.  Also, the Cable Guy (CG) was here today.  Apparently our cable wires are like five thousand years old and not capable of sustaining television and Internet, which explains at least some of the reasons why I frequently want to throw my laptop against the wall.  There are other reasons, but that’s a post for another time. 

On this day, CG was there running new cable through the house, Hubby is working on the pool, and Idiot Dog was locked in the girl’s room howling like the damn fool he is.  Hubby has the pool filled and is placing the last bit of the top rail, the finishing touch.  CG is around the corner of the house out of sight when he hears “BAM” and thinks to himself, “No, it can’t be.”  Sure enough, when CG peeks around the corner to see, the pool has exploded. Four thousand gallons of water gushing out of the pool, banking off the block wall and rushing through the swing set and over the slide, filling the back yard to three inches deep.  It burst right where Hubby was standing and trapped his leg under the metal wall and he was stuck there until the water emptied enough that he could wrench it free. 

Oh, Readers, I am so ashamed to admit that I laughed.  I laughed a lot.  The picture of the wall of water taking out my back yard, of Hubby stuck there as the door mat floated by, of the cable guy laughing until his stomach hurt.  I am a horrible wife.  Hubby’s leg is quite sore though not badly damaged, of course all the wasted water is a crime, and the money spent is a bummer.  But, seriously Readers, I will be giggling about that for days if not weeks and Hubby will probably list it in the Divorce Decree, but I defy you to not picture it and find amusement. 

And by the way, the Idiot Dog is very happy to be living in a swamp.