9 Minutes in Heaven

I’m not a morning person.  It’s ingrained in my DNA and it’s never going to change.  If it didn’t happen the entire time I was growing up, it’s not going to change now that I’m 40.  But it wasn’t from my father’s lack of trying.  He is the worst of his kind – a morning person that feels it’s his duty to spread morning cheer throughout the land.  It was horrible.  He would tease and tickle and poke me until I escaped to go to school.  No amount of gnashing of my teeth would change his mind that just maybe one more joke and I’d join the “light side”.  The “light side” is the exact opposite of the “dark side” of course.  I suspect Darth Vadar didn’t want to get up in the morning either.

So now that I’m an adult and I don’t have someone standing over my bed with a bucket of ice water to ensure I’m up on time, I must rely on an alarm clock.  It’s not always successful.  Especially since My Honey is up for work and gone long before the kids and I have to get up.  I’m dreadfully irresponsible when it comes to gettin up on time.

There is a negotiation that goes on with the alarm clock.  I set it for 6:20 – an over abundance of time to arise and get everyone off to on their days.  Then I hit snooze every nine minutes until I open my eyes and freak out because it’s 7:10.  The negotiation goes like this: If I sleep 9 more minutes then I won’t do my hair.  If I sleep 9 more minutes then I won’t wear makeup.  If I sleep 9 more minutes then I won’t eat breakfast.  Honestly, you should see me some days.  Terrifying – bedraggled and hungry.

Something went awry with the universe this morning.  The alarm went off and I got out of bed.  I went to wake up The Bandit and brush my teeth.  Somewhere along the way back from the bathroom, I caught sight of a clock.  It read 6:23.  6:23!  What!  I thought for approximately seven seconds about getting in a workout before work.  I considered making an actual breakfast with eggs and bacon. 

And then my sanity returned.

I shut everyone’s lights back off and crawled back in bed.   This is a super power of mine – I can go to sleep anywhere, anytime.  My brother and I share it.  It was very useful when we both worked for my father.

I figured I could take all the 9 minutes available to me – especially since I already brushed my teeth.  WaHOOOO – 9 more minutes.