Bueller?

SO I am here.  I am not even close to being a natural blogger.  I tried once, but I really lack for things to say. 

Deep Sigh.

But I promised.  I seem to have plenty to say when I call Amylynn with ridiculous little stories.  In her bloggy niceness, she even tells me which stories are blog material as I relate them to her.  But here, I can’t even remember one of them.  Maybe it’s the wine.  Maybe I like to whine. 

I have had quite the upheaval of circumstances over the last year, but one thing remains steady.  My poodle is a nightmare.  Well, two things, really.  My daughter is as sweet as can be.  And she is on the prowl for a new pet.  Somehow, in a conversation back in JULY, my husband told her that she could have a new pet when she turns 7.  (In addition to the demon poodle and the angelic aquatic turtle, of course.)  But at the time of the ‘promise’, she was 5.  She has only recently turned 6.  This alarming set of circumstances has resulted in the following daily torture:

A)  We live FAR from where she goes to school.  Every morning on the way, and every afternoon on the way back, she asks to talk about pets.  And we have done so since AUGUST. 

B)  ALL pets are debated daily.  Through research, we have ruled out guinea pigs (who eat their own poo), parakeets (not fond of being held), hamsters (stinky and difficult to clean up after), rabbits (waaay to much poo and maintenance), a tortoises (just for now because we need to work on our yard), a fish (because they don’t live for long), iguanas (salmonella…hello?), a pony (absolutely not),  a goat (over my dead body), tarantulas (they really should be free), gerbils (apparently not as stinky as hamsters, but just as messy),  parrots (noisy, messy and very long lived), ferrets (really?), a baby cow (we’re lactose intolerant), chickens (too frickin loud), another dog (unless it eats the poodle), cats (we’re allergic, thank god), a sugar glider or an owl (1)not real pets, 2) nocturnal), a blue poisoned dart frog (ummm, poison), a scorpion (she really wanted one.  Ummmm, let me see….NO), a fire-bellied toad (again, toxic-ish), a veiled chameleon (doesn’t like to be held; it stresses them out…who can blame them?) and a blue-tongued skink (not a big fan of being held either).

C)  We are down to our final three.  1)  Bearded dragon.  2)  Ball python.   3)  Corn snake.

D)  God help us.  I just asked my husband yesterday if we could end this and buy her a pet for Christmas because… 

E)  I can’t take another year of discussing pets everyday for multiple hours. 

But it makes her happy.  And I know that as soon as I get her a snake, she will start the campaign for when she turns 8.   And I know that I will give in again and not make her wait. 

She is very gifted with animals after all.  It is her thing. 

So there is my ditty for the day.  I am already nauseous at the thought of coming up with something for tomorrow. 

Damn you Disney!!!

Kelli