Five year old hieroglyphics

The Bandit has a crush on his kindergarten teacher.  I know this because he wrote her a note, sealed it in an envelope he stole from my desk, and asked me to stamp it.  I was told I couldn’t look inside because it was secret.

This sat on my desk for two days amid the clutter of Golden Heart Contest entries, stuff for the interviews I have to write for the Tucson Festival of Books, editing pages for Dalton & Olivia’s book, blog ideas and cast off earrings.  I found it this evening.  It sat there unmolested for approximately 15 seconds while I searched my conscience.  The devil won and I opened it.

For those of you tsk tsking at me, I say bah!  If I didn’t open it then how can I tell you what was in it.  If you disagree with me opening the envelope on moral grounds or some other nonsense, then you can feel free to go and come back tomorrow when I have something less offensive to tell you. 

The rest of us who are dying to know what a five year old tells his kindergarten teacher whom he has a crush on will forge ahead, and if that means karma demerits, then so be it.

The letter was very simple.  There were only two lines. 

Ilovyoo. 

The lad has some issues with remembering to put the space between new words.  And remembering the silent “e” as well.  But to be fair, love doesn’t following the silent “e” rule.  If it did, the word would rhyme with dove.  As in the past tense of to dive, “we dove into water”.

The second line is where it gets really good.

Of course, his pictures were pencil drawings but they were of an eye, a heart and a sheep.  A ewe.

I know there is a contingent of people out there who think I make this stuff up.  That the dialogue isn’t real and the stories figments of my fertile imagination.  Nope.  I have the proof.  On my desk in the form of a piece of printer paper folded seventy-five times and shoved in a legal size envelope.

And I’m keeping it forever.  If he expects these kinds of things to get to his teacher, in the future, I suggest he find someone more responsible and less prone to mushy, melting momness.