They may be small but the green people are tough

I knew I shouldn’t be getting him riled up before bed, but sometimes it’s hard to resist.  We were lying in the bottom bunk, snuggling in the dark after we’d read his bedtime story.  We were talking about St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow and, against my better judgement, I was tickling him and giving him little pinches.

“You can’t pinch me.”  He giggled the high pitch laugh that is so gratifying to a tickler like me.  “You’re not a leprechaun.”

“How do you know?,” I countered.  “I’m lots of things you don’t know about.”  I gave him a wee pinch on an especially ticklish rib bone.

“Because you’re too big.”  He squirmed and squealed.  “And you’re not green.”

“I’m a duly appointed agent of the Leprechaun Association,” I told him.

“What does that mean?”

I nuzzled his neck.  “It means I get to do all the same things Leprechauns can do without getting in trouble with the Leprechaun Union.  They’re very tough so I’m excited they approved my application.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he protested and slapped away my hand.  He still giggled almost uncontrollably.  “You’re not a leprechaun.”

“Yeah, I am,” I assured him.  “The leprechauns can’t be everywhere so sometimes they get big people to help them out on important Irish days like St. Patrick’s Day.”

He tried to wiggle away but it was no use.  “Nu huh.  How come I’ve never heard this before?”

“Because the Leprechaun Association is very secretive as you can imagine.  They make that one of the rules of working for them.”  I snaked my hands under the covers and got him behind the knee.

He stops giggling just long enough to squeak out, “You do not.”

“Yeah huh.”  I snuck in a kiss.  “I found them on the Internet.  You can find anything on the Internet.”

“Not leprechauns,” he informed me,  “they’re not real.”

“Oh no”  I cackled wildly. “You’re in big trouble with the Leprechaun Association now, little boy!”

He can’t even respond through my pinchy-tickly assault.  Who’d have ever thought St. Patrick’s Day would be so much fun without the green beer?