And I totally ruined that joke

Believe it or not, this scatalogical conversation was had with my DAUGHTER.  The prissy one.  The pink, frilly, tutu wearing girl and not the boy.  One would have expected the boy to have been involved, but he was off somewhere else, doing God only knows what and probably without underwear on while he was doing it.

I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher after dinner.  My Honey had run over to his mom’s house so it was just me and the kids.  Probably not the best combination, but that’s when the best blog stuff happens.

This fine gentleman might have just been waiting for his turn

I was adjusting the hot water from the faucet when she stolled up next to me, grape popcicle in hand, and asked, “Mom, where did pirates go to the bathroom?”

“What?” I asked.  These people and their questions.  Do they sit around all day and make this crap up with their friends or something?

She repeated her question.  I noticed a distinct smirk she tried to hide, but I’m a professional smirker and I know the signs well.  It all comes with being a card carrying sarcasam expert.  I come from a long line of sarcasam-istas.

“Where did pirates go to the bathroom?  Was it the poop deck?”  Now I was regailed with fifteen minutes of hysterical, stomach-grasping giggling.  Where the heck is her brother?  This sort of nonsense from one kid generally draws out the other one if only to see what the ruckus is about.

Now here another “normal” mother would have gone along with the joke and be done with it.  Not me.  No.  The Queen of Useless Knowledge happened to know the real answer to this question.  I realize it was a joke and she didn’t really want the truth, but here was an opportunity to completely freak out the girl and I can’t pass that up.

Actually, the poop deck is thought to be called that for several reasons.  1) from the French word for stern (which

That's the actual poop deck at the top

 where the poop deck is located) la poupe from the Latin puppis. 2) named from the after deck on Roman ships, the puppim,  where statues or idols of the Gods, the puppis, were kept.  I have a tendancy to lean more towards reason number one.  I get tired of answer having to do with God.  It gets real old and it’s unimaginative.

Either way you go with that explanation, it’s not funny.  Harsh reality check: the truth is often not funny.  Good lesson to learn at seven, don’t you think?

“So,” you ask just like the seven year old did, “WHERE did the pirates go to the bathroom?”

Here’s where the freak out occurs.  They walked their nasty butts to the front of the ship and hung their tushies over the rail.

Let’s say it all together now, “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

Of course, paid passagers on a ship would have had a chamber pot in their room just like at home.  But again, that’s still not funny.

So, disregard this entire post and start over.

“Where did pirates go to the bathroom?”