This is why we’ll never get invited to the White House

I’ve never been the kind of Mom who caters to the children over food.  Dinner is what their father or I made and if you don’t want to be hungry, you’ll eat it.  There will be no special dispensation for dislike of meat, vegetables or pasta.  No special meal will be made.  No peanut butter and jelly sandwiches will be substituted.  My Honey and I have always been of one opinion that finicky eaters will go hungry.

The one exception being each child’s birthday dinner.  That night you get whatever you want and we’ll all eat it without a fuss. 

Sassy has been toying with vegetarianism for the last year or so.  I call it convenient vegetariantism.  I’ve told you about this propensity with her before.  She is a vegetarian when it comes to steak, hamburger or tuna.  She happily eats meat when it comes in the form of a sausage like salami, or bacon, or anything in the form of a nugget.

Dinner with Sassy is like an episode of Fear Factor.  Remember that stupid show always had a horrendously disgusting food challange on each episode.  Sassy pushes her food around, peering at it intensely, smelling and touching the tip of her tongue with a miniscule forkfull.  You’d think we’d made Trantula ala King or Dog Poo Parmesean the way she inspects everything.

Next comes the histrionics, a blatant play for sympathy that causes her eyes well up and the tears begin to flow.  She has even been known to throw in a gag reflex if she thinks it will get her anywhere.  Of course it doesn’t, but I do appreciate the Oscar worthy performance.

Like many kids their age, Sassy and The Bandit mess around with their food and their father and I try not to show our amusement when one of the kids has to go to the bathroom sixteen times during dinner, or the other one uses fourteen napkins in the course of the meal.  Do they really think we have no idea what they are trying to pull off.

One thing you wouldn’t expect is that Idiot Dog is not a coconspiritor.  You’d think he would be right on top of this opportunity, lurking under chairs and slinking around the table, but no.  In fact, the cat is more likely to show interest in table scraps than Roscoe is.  I personally think this is a missed opportunity, but what do I know.

Either way, dinner is always an event at the Bright Compound.  Anytime you find your own repast to be dull or typical, feel free to come by.  Odds are someone will probably spill and entire glass of milk for your entertainment as well.

Yeeha!