To Kill a Mockingbird and something trashy will do

So Ava and her family went to Turkey.  Yes, Turkey.  They had a wonderful time, except that Ava brought home some hideous Turkish germ that doesn’t speak English and all the antibiotics available to us here don’t speak Turkish.   I’ve begun searching Craigs List for the services of a Turkish exorcist.  Ava’s husband, Ed, thinks any witch doctor would work and, ultimately, that might be better as our health insurance may cover it because there is “doctor” in the title.

I’ve told you about her trips to the medical professionals here and here.  By Thursday, I was feeling like complete crap.  My teeth and jaw were killing me which is a sure sign of a sinus infection.  I seriously questioned if my neck was strong enough to hold up my head, it was so full of snot.  Also, is there supposed to be a sharp and persistent stabbing feeling in your ear?  That doesn’t seem right to me.  Fairly quickly the misery spread to my chest and the coughing began.  Friday was awful.  I knew just how Ava felt because the coughing spasms would make me tear up and left me gasping for breath.

My mom was concerned at how sick I was after so recently having the strep.  I have included for your reading enjoyment an email exchange I had with her on Friday when we were at our respective jobs. 

She’d been giving me some home remedies she thought would help with the sinus infection when I replied the following:

Me: I also have a BUNCH of the antibiotics from my strep.  Should I start taking those again?

Mom: Are you telling me that YOU HAVE ANTIBIOTICS LEFT OVER FROM YOUR STREP??????????????????
If you are not putting me on to get a rise out of me, then I no longer feel bad for you. That is why you are sick again. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: OK.  I was over the strep.  I’ve never in my life – except with a z-pack – taken all my antibiotics.

Mom: OMG. You are supposed to finish all antibiotics so that you kill all the bugs, including all the ones that are just barely hatching, that is why you are sick so soon. Finish them and never tell me that again. I will disown you and give all your inherited stuff to someone that minds their mother about antibiotics after having their mother be a nurse for over 40 years.

Me: OH dear.  How much of an inheritance are we talking about here?

Mom: I substantially raised my life insurance this last year. And it has a clause in it that specifically reads, “ ANY  HEIR THAT HAS NOT TAKEN THEIR FULL ANTIBIOTIC DOSE WHEN SICK SHALL FORFEIT THEIR INHERITANCE.”

Me: Of course you know, I’ll be blogging about this.  I have no qualms about embarrassing myself at all.

Mom: AND ME. I am serious. That is why you are so sick so soon. How many you got left?

Me: I’m not going to tell you.

Mom: Take them till gone, got it, then if you are still sick go to the CVS nurse prac and get more and I will be by to see that you take them. And absolutely no books in the coffin.

The books in the coffin line is because I’ve always made it clear there should be several books in my coffin with me.  What if there is a line where ever it is I’m going?  If I have to stand in line for the afterlife, or for reincarnation, or hell, or simply to molder there in the ground, I’m going to need something to read.  Several somethings most likely.