Miserable either way

Ava and I had a ridiculously horrible day today.  There was serious talk of layoffs and unemployment and poverty and depression and wretchedness.  The absolute worst thing of all was the not knowing.  I still don’t officially know anything.  Unofficially, we think everything is all right, but this is corporate America and in this economy, in the industry we work in, things can change in a heartbeat.

As much as we complain about the soul-sucking jobs, we still need them.  I am very happy I still have one with health insurance benefits.

I’ll tell you though, as we sat in our church – the Barnes & Noble/Starbucks Cafe – drinking ridiculously expensive and fattening drinks and sharing an asiago cheese pretzel and Godiva Chocolate cheese cake, I wanted desperately to be happy about the impending unemployment.

It’s not like there are any jobs to be had in this town. 

All I could think of is how wonderful it would be to write full time.  I could volunteer in my kids classrooms like they’re always asking me to do.  I could stay up as late as I want to write while my brain is working at its most creative.  And, ooooooh – all the reading I could do.

Sigh.  Nope.  Looks like I’m going to work tomorrow. Apparently, I’m never happy.