I figure it’s best not to think too much about “why”

I couldn’t decide how to start this post.  I wrote the first sentence five times and erased each one because I couldn’t decide how to launch into the topic.  I guess that’s the answer – just launch.

The Bandit wears me out.  His father and I can’t use being tired from work as an excuse to sit and relax or doze on the couch before dinner.  You must remain vigilant whenever our son is awake.

Tonight I was sitting on the couch before dinner watching Tampa Bay have their ass handed to them in Round Three of the Stanley Cup playoffs when I noticed the shadow of the refrigerator door open and close. There was no noise involved at all – just the moving shadow.  I jumped up and ran the opposite way to the kitchen in an attempt to catch him.  I knew it was The Bandit.  The entire escapade was done too quietly to have been anyone who wasn’t attempting to be sneaky. I rounded the doorway to the family room and saw him with a cupcake in each hand.  As soon as he saw me coming, he attempted to shove both of them in his mouth at once. He looked like a bad wedding photo of a groom gone insane.  There was frosting everywhere.

About an hour later I passed by the hall bathroom.  The door was ajar and I could see the light on.  I swung open the door to find the room empty, but clear evidence The Bandit had been there.  He had taken eight panty liners, peeled the back off each one, and stuck them across the toilet seat effectively taping the toilet closed.

Why? Why? I don’t have any idea.  I can’t imagine why we’d want the toilet taped shut. I just don’t know.