Is it weird that I’m hoping he’s really hairy?

Last evening the Bright combined families went to the theater.  We got the tickets for all the Mothers as a combined Mother’s Day present.  I don’t want you to think that we all got dressed up and went off to see a Shakespeare or Chekov production or anything. No, we put on clean t-shirts and went to see a melodrama.  You know the kind – where the audience does a lot of participation with the actors in the form of cheering for the hero and booing for the villain.  The current show, The Curse of the Pirate Gold, was everything you’d expect by way of general goofiness.

We sat right up front, or as my sister-in-law called it, the “spit zone.” I easily spent as much time watching my children watching the play as I did the actors on the stage.  Sassy was captivated by the costumes and The Bandit wide-eyed over the silliness of the pirates and their goofy songs.  One of the pirates even reached down and grabbed some of Bandit’s popcorn and threw it at him. 

Much to the kid’s delight, at one point, one of the pretty actresses came down and sang a torch song to My Honey and rubbed his head.  They giggled about that memory all morning. However, Sassy did express some concern that the actors kept giggling during their lines.  She didn’t find the professionalism all that impressive. 

I think my kid needs to lighten up. 

Although, I don’t think the answer is to be more like her brother.  His answer to everything is nudity. 

The kids have spent this week between when school ended and camp begins at their Grandmother’s house.  Much of their days are spent swimming.  They were a little sunburned yesterday, so this morning I suggested they not swim to give their skin a break.  At lunch, Sassy phoned and begged me to bring a swim shirt so the swimming could continue anyway.

When I knocked on Grandma’s door, no one answered.  I knocked again and finally heard someone wrestling with the knob from the inside.  The giant front door swung open and a stark-naked Bandit, face covered in pizza, smiled from the other side.

“Oh my God, what are you doing?” I screeched.

“Going to the bathroom,” he answered like nothing was amiss.

“Honey, we put on pants when we open the door!”  That’s item #76 to add to the Things I Never Thought I’d Have to Say Out Loud list.  “Where is your grandmother?”

“Outside.” He snatched his sister’s shirt and sprinted for the back yard, willie flapping along. 

Indeed, his sister and grandmother were outside eating lunch.  Of course Grandma’s immediate reaction was to say, “Go put your pants on!”

Chris Rock says you’re a success as a parent if you can keep your daughter off the pole.  I don’t think that’s going to be a problem with Sassy (are you listening, Universe?), but I sincerely fear my son will be on the nightly news as The Streaker!

And just think, you’ll be able to say you knew him when…