Fun with adhesives

I have a security badge I wear for work. We all wear them on lanyards around our necks with retractable cords so we can pull the badge to the scanner thus releasing the magnetic door locks. We have them on the two exterior doors and then on the two doors that lead into the inner offices from the public side. If you want to go pee you need your badge. If you have an appointment with a customer you need your badge.

It’s really best if you don’t lose your badge.

I keep losing mine. Really, it’s through no fault of my own. There is a plastic mechanism with our company logo nestled inside a metal hoop and mine keeps coming apart there. I always know it’s in the inner sanctum when I lose it because I couldn’t have opened the doors to get inside if I didn’t. I generally find it under my desk, but as you can imagine this gets quite pesky.

I ran home during lunch today to let the Idiot Dog outside. It had been frigidly cold and raining this morning and I didn’t have the heart to throw his fuzzy butt outside. While I was there, I decided to Super Glue the parts of my lanyard together in a proactive solution.

It was really more like an episode of I Love Lucy than a quick trip to my house.

First, I super glued my right thumb to the back of the plastic piece. While I was trying to pry my thumb loose, I glued my right index finger to the front. I got both of them separated with my left hand only to get that thumb stuck as well. Cursing mightily, I pried all my fingers loose, let go of the lanyard and promptly adhered it to my shirt.

“Oh for …. *#^$@%&” I unstuck my shirt without cutting a hole in it. Of course you know the cap to the glue was stuck to the counter top.

If there is any question about the ownership of my lanyard, I’ll be able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is mine. My fingerprints are stuck all over the thing. That may come into play sooner than you think because, as I write this a scant half hour later, the plastic part has come loose again and is floating around the office somewhere.

Super Glue indeed.