Christmas was wonderful – now let’s take it all down.

Christmas was lovely – a very Bright-ish version of excess as usual. Now it’s December 26th and I want that damn tree down. It’s lovely but it’s so in the way. Does that make me Scroogish? I don’t know. I don’t care. The damn thing has to go.

Now Ava will take her tree and such down sometime in March. I don’t know how she can put up with it – but Ava really loves Christmas decorations. I’m telling you if our tree was still up in March, I’d set fire to the thing right there in the living room.

That’s the same way I feel about the outside lights, too. The neighbor lady across my street leaves hers up all damn year. I want to get drunk and shoot them out with a BB gun every time I see them in June and August. That is the only thing I can see that having a home owner’s association would be good for.

I hope Santa was good to you all. Santa was extraordinarily good to me. I got a iPhone 4S under the tree! Yippee. I’m still with Sprint – but we’ll see how much happier I am without that blasted Samsung piece of crap. I am enjoying playing with my new toy though. I keep asking Suri – the android assistant who lives in my phone – all kinds of stupid questions. She does all my Googling for me. It’s genius and glorious and I don’t know how I lived without her before nor will I want to go on alone if she should disappear.

I haven’t decided on an appropriate death for the old phone yet, but I’ll come up with something. If you have any suggestions don’t hesitate to share them. It’s really too bad the damn thing can’t bleed. That would be very satisfying.

Just so you don’t think everything was quiet over here, I’ll tell you that on Christmas morning Sassy was up at 2am and then 3am trying to get us to unwrap. At 4:30 I found her out watching television surrounded by wrapped presents. I made her go back to bed. At 7am I awoke to find my bed completely full. There was My Honey, of course, but also, Sassy and The Bandit, Roscoe and Winnie. I could hear the cat snoring under the bed. I wiggled down into the three square inches allotted to me in my own bed and figured I’d doze until the others started waking up. At 7:30 my Mom-in-law rang the doorbell. Lord only knows what time we’d have gotten up if she had not been invited to come watch the kids open.  Can you imagine the glories of a Christmas morning that didn’t begin until 10am?

That will be my next year’s Christmas wish: Late mornings and then elves that come on the 26th and take it all down.