Film at 11

Sassy was late for school today.  It wasn’t because she was dawdling for once.  She was late because my son is trying to kill me.  I was searching frantically for my wedding rings and the heirloom rings from my grandmothers.  They were mysteriously missing.  At one point, The Bandit gave some cryptic information, that when followed up on, the rings were located in a junky old book bag – the kind you get for free at events.  Inside the bag were about 15 pennies, a couple of broken crayons, some comic books, and around $20,000 in jewelery.  The boy will be the death of me.

Also today, I was talking with Ava via text.  I discovered that she was driving a co-worker around – while texting.  This horrified me to my very marrow.  I would like to make one thing very clear: if Ava and I are going anywhere, I INSIST on driving.  Not that she puts up much of a complaint, mind you.  There are several problems with Ava driving.  #1) She never has any idea where she is going.  I thought about getting her a GPS but, strike me down if I’m lying, she just learned to use the voice mail feature on her cell phone last year.  A GPS is WAAAY too electronic for Ava.  #2) She flat out refuses to do U-Turns and she’s a little iffy on lefts.  It takes her twenty minutes to negotiate all the right hand turns to get her going in the reverse direction.  #3) She’s easily distracted.  She is forever texting me about what others are doing while driving.  Last week, it was the lady teasing her hair – with both hands while driving.  She fails to see the irony that she is also texting me at the same time.  Anyway, never fear – I alerted the authorities that she was out and about.  It’s my civic duty.  And, 100 bucks says her co-worker will never ask her to drive him anywhere, ever again.