Botulism on a stick

I”m watching Worst Cooks in America on the Food Network while I write this tonight. You all know that cooking is not my stong suit. I’m watching this mostly because it makes me feel much better about myself. My problem is more that I lack concentration. I’m a multitasker. That is fine if the things you are doing are all related to cooking your dinner. It doesn’t really work so well when the things you are doing besides cooking are crossword puzzles, reading a book, responding to emails, or texting.

HOWEVER – these people on this show are horrifying. How horrifying are they? One woman was thrilled when she figured out how to unlock the tongs. Another couldn’t figure out how to use a pepper grinder. She just kept shaking the hell out of the thing until, entirely by accident, she turned the top and pepper appeared. At the beginning of the show, one woman admitted sending her husband to the hospital because no one had ever told her she couldn’t leave meat out at room temperature all day. Oh. My. God.

At first you think these people must be kidding, but as each of them have an epiphany it’s apparent that they really have no clue.

You’d think they wouldn’t have to tell them not to run or jump around with a butcher knife, but no.

Although one person did say something so funny I would have given anything for it to have been mine. Bobby Flay was teaching them how to cook tofu (ick!) and one guy said, “I eat meat. You know, something with parents.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That would have made a great In Our Humble Opinion. I wish I hadn’t told you about it.