Nobody isn’t allowed to play over here anymore.

Isn’t it amazing how stupid our children think we are? I’m certain this happens with every generation, but now it’s happening to me so it’s relevant. I’m positive my children think I’m the stupidest person alive. The crap they come up with is mind-boggling. Like I have no idea why Sassy would need fifteen napkins during dinner or why she needs to take so many trips to the bathroom while we’re all at the table or why the dog is always under her chair at dinner.

The boy tried to tell me he needed to buy Matchbox cars while we were in Target as part of a homework assignment.  You know, it was the same way when I was in first grade. These darn teachers are always demanding we get all kinds of nutty things. Several weekends ago it was art projects for Sassy that had to be done RIGHT NOW.

Then of course there’s the more pedestrian bullshit lines about how they’ve brushed their teeth already or fed the dogs. The Bandit is forever telling me he isn’t smuggling food in his pockets. Of course, neither of them were eating Cheese-Its in my bed or broke the blinds in the bedroom or threw wet towels on the bathroom floor.

Of course, they washed their hands in the bathroom. Sure they did their homework. No, it wasn’t them who stopped up the toilet or threw all the empty Band-aid wrappers all over the floor.

Apparently, we have the most obnoxious poltergeists in the world.