Megan from Bridesmaids only got like six of ’em

The headline read “112 Slovakian puppies survive truck crash”. This brought

PUPPY!

up a couple of questions.

Question: How many puppies started this journey? Answer: 113. Only one died and seven sustained “light” injuries according to Ludwigshafen police.

Q: What is a Ludwigshafen? A: I have no idea, but try to say it five times fast. Too hard? Try to say it once. I can’t either. It sort of sounds like your shaving a wig, huh?

oh. my. god. PUPPY

Q. Puppies! A. Rhetorical question.

Q. What kind of puppies? A. Those wigged police described them as “various”. Well actually, they probably said, “verschiedene” if they spoke German, “rôzny” if they spoke Slovakian, and “različnih” if it was Slovenian. I try to be thorough when reporting important puppy news.

Q. Why shove 113 puppies in a truck? A. The little

pssst... go get in my car.

cuties were off to be sold in Germany and Belgium. If you want a puppy in Belgium you need to practice this phrase, “Je voudrais un chiot super mignon, s’il vous plaît.” Does anyone else find it disturbing that the word “mignon” is in that phrase? I always associate that word with a rare piece of steak. Once again I’m here to help. “Mignon” actually means “cute”. So, class, that means you’ve been ordering a “cute piece of meat”. I wonder if that also works with firemen and hockey players?

Q.How many puppies would you have absconded with

Come on! This isn't even fair.

if you happened along that stretch of highway after that accident and you encountered 112 mignon puppies running around? A. As many as I could have loaded in my car before someone became suspicious. I’m quite confident that number would have been upwards of ten or more.

Q. How angry would My Honey have been if I showed up at home with ten or more puppies? A. I’m not answering that question. I refuse to ask him because it’s always easier to beg forgiveness.  You never know what you might encounter out there that needs to be rescued.  Ahem.